Fall Fun

Hello, everyone. I am hoping that you haven't given up on me and are still checking in! Here are a few tidbits on Ziva since the last entry...Ziva has settled into school again, but without those naps every other day (like last year), she is a whiny thing when we get home! I still try to do some "homework" with her every day but sometimes it is difficult!

Lately, Ziva has been getting very snuggly with me, loves to sit on my lap, and loves to be picked up. I know, she's 4 1/2 and may seem too old to be picked up and carried around...but hey, we are both just making up for lost time! When we are out together, she absolutely loves to point to me and tell people, "MY mommy!" She is getting rather possessive! I know I have mentioned how much Ziva loves music and singing. She will often sing songs to the tune of "Old McDonald" or "The Farmer in the Dell"...but the only word she keeps singing over and over is "Mommy". It's adorable.

When Ziva went to the doctor's in July, she was 92.5 cm tall; last week we measured her and she is now 96 cm! No wonder her pants are too short on her every two weeks!

Ziva is loving swimming lessons. She loves the water so much, but the entire experience is still overwhelming to her. For the first few weeks, Scott was allowed in the pool with her and he said that her heart races the entire time. Her adrenaline is in overdrive. She dunks her head under the water so often that she doesn't even listen to the instructor or do what she is supposed to be doing. But I guess that is why we are going...so eventually it will not be overwhelming to her.

Our greatest frustration as of late has been with how other people interact with Ziva (at Sunday school, swimming lessons, school, bank, etc). If they have never met Ziva, we always need to explain that she doesn't really talk because, inevitably, they'll ask her her name, how old she is, or something like that, and she will not answer. Once people find out she doesn't talk, they start to treat her like she is stupid. They seem to think that because she doesn't talk, she also doesn't understand. We have also realized that it is easy for people to take advantage of her because she doesn't talk. We are just constantly reminded of that fact that we are her voice and her advocates.

I have told people that Ziva really reactes to bug bites. And people almost always say back, "Oh, yeah...me too. " Like this? (The bite location is at the black mark.) Poor thing.

First trip to an apple orchard to pick apples.

Thanksgiving Day: a walk at Scotsdale Farm

Jack-o-lantern carving was a hoot this year. Ziva literally dug in...she loved the sensory experience!

All dressed and ready to get some candy! And no, her face isn't wet- that's the gross sparkle gel that I put on her face. She was the cutest butterfly...or angel...or fairy...

How time flies!

It's hard to believe that another two months has gone by! Summer, along with all its "busyness", has been replaced by a different kind of busyness- school! CIP school ended up being a wonderful experience for Ziva and we are so glad that we had the opportunity to have in "summer school". Ziva is now going to nursery school 5 days a week (from 8 to 4). Although she is old enough for JK, developmentally, she is not ready for that yet. So another year of nursery school it is. Her teachers have been telling us that she is doing great! Because it's her second year, she is familar and confident with the routines and procedures; she is also sitting for circle time and doesn't run around anymore. Yeah! The teachers (with guidance from the many professionals we have working with Ziva) have embraced the use of visuals for Ziva which help her to communicate and focus on tasks.

There hasn't been much improvment with Ziva's speech lately and we actually feel her progress is at a bit of a standstill. Although she can say many words, she still is unable to use them spontaneously. It is also taking her a long time to learn those last 8 consonant sounds. So we just keep repeating and repeating and repeating...

Recently, she learned how to say "excuse me" (not perfectly, of course, but we know what she is saying) and she likes using it whenever she can. She always has this look of pride on her face when she burps or toots because it gives her the opportunity to say "excuse me!" It's too cute.

She continues to be a very thoughtful and generous child. Her latest thing is when you sneeze- she'll run from where ever she is in the house to the bathroom, get you a Kleenex, bring it to you, and say. "Big sneeze!".

In early September, we had an appointment at the FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder)Clinic on Toronto. Although we don't have our next appointment until March, we are glad that they decided Ziva was a candidate for the assessment. We are not sure what we will find out, if anything, but we figure it won't hurt. If we could get some answers as to her language delay, it would give us some peace.

Ziva just couldn't get enough of the pool this summer. And as you can see in the photo, she will stick her whole face in the water! She is our brave girl! This Saturday she starts swimming lessons which we know she will absolutely love.
We dug the trike out in the spring and were happy to see that she could reach the pedals this year! For the next few months, we tried and tried to teach her how to trike without any success. We thought she'd never learn...and then at the beginning of August, she finally got the hang of it! Now she's a triking fool!

We took a day trip to Wasaga Beach in August...Ziva was in her glory in the "big water", as she called it.

Hanging out on the back deck.

Ziva really enjoys table toys...pegs, puzzles, lacing, beads...but she loves her baby too!

First day of school.

Ziva's first visit to a fall fair. She went on the ferris wheel with Daddy...

and the merry-go-round with Mommy. She doesn't look very happy on either ride...I think she was too stunned to have any other expression!

All wrapped up after a bath. Perhaps a visit to a spa is in her future?

A Long Overdue Update!

Well, I am finally here with an update! I apologize to those you of who kept checking in, only to find nothing new. As some of you already know, the past few months have been crazy around here. Mid-April, Scott's back "went out" and he became bedridden. Thankfully, he was able to have back surgery a month later, which was followed by another 6 weeks in bed recuperating. Suddenly everything around the house and everything with Ziva fell on me...and so things like blogging took a very back burner (whole other stove!). But now Scott is up and around, supervising his employee at job sites, and should be able to return to work soon. School is out and Ziva and I are enjoying our days together.

We have seen quite a bit of growth in our little girl over the past 5 months! Physically, she has grown a lot. Back in the spring, it seemed that a pair of pants would fit her one week and the next week they'd be too short! She now weighs a whopping 32 pounds and is 92 cm tall. The doctor tells us that she is now "on the chart": at the 10th percentile for weight and 3rd percentile for height. She is such a shorty! (The doctor also said that he predicts she'll grow to be between 5' and 5' 2" tall...hey, 5' 2" is a great height!)

We have seen some good improvment in her speech as well. It is still slow going, but progress is progress! She went to 8 weeks of speech therapy at Erin Oak (funded by the region) late winter/ early spring. Then there was a 10 week "off block" during which we pursued private speech- we just couldn't bear the thought of a 10-week hiatus in therapy when she was finally starting to make some progress! We are now in the middle of our 2nd block of therapy with Erin Oak. We use lots of visuals and have sentence strips for some basic sentences like "I want___", "I need _____", or "I see ____". Following those patterns, Ziva is able to say some 3-4 word sentences. Her vocabulary is still very limited, however, so we hear the same sentences over and over again! The biggest difference has been Ziva's desire to communicate. She now talks quite spontaneously and we do not have to prompt quite as much as before. She is also more willing to try and repeat words. And because she is now able to produce more sounds, when she does repeat a word, it is often quite close. Repitition is the key with Ziva, though. She cannot simply hear a word, repeat it, and get it right...she needs to practice words hundreds of times! So, at the dinner table, in the bath, when she gets dressed, when I play with her, in the pool....you name it...she has to say something before she gets anything! It is quite exhausting to do this all the time, but it is becoming habitual for me. Her two favourite sentences lately have been: "I want fan on." (she loves having the fan blow directly on her when she sleeps) and "I want water on back." (I throw buckets of water on her in the pool). My favourites are when she sings (with good accuracy) and signs "Jesus Loves Me" and when she prays "God is great, God is good."

Ziva's play skills are improving as well. Making choices in play is more difficult for her, but if she is given an activity, she can attend to it quite well. Puzzles have become a big favourite and she is quite good at them. She can even sit and watch a 30 minute video now! (which gives me a break!). Her absolute favourite toy is her baby. Her "new thing" with the baby is to check her diaper. Ziva will undo the sleeper, look at the baby's bum, go to the washroom and get some toilet paper, wipe the baby's bum, look at the toilet paper, wipe the bum again, and then go throw the toilet paper in the garbage. It's really cute. Ziva likes to do this so much that her baby often needs a diaper change every few minutes! Now that summer is here, the pool is all Ziva talks about. She loves the water and has no inhibitions about putting her head under, "diving" in, having water poured over her head...so if I want her to do anything fast (eat, dress, clean up), I just tell her that after she's done, she can go in the pool!

With the growth in speech, more of Ziva's personality is coming through. Before, she seemed rather emotionally "flat" and we didn't get a lot of reactions from her or changes in her emotions. We have discovered that she has a great sense of humour; she knows what is funny and knows how to be funny. Speech is also allowing her to exert more assertiveness; her new "overused" word is NO! When I ask her to do something, she will usually answer with an emphatic "No!"...but then she will proceed to do what I asked anyway!

Ziva has become quite attached to me over the past few months. She always wants to be in the same room as me and will ask, "Mommy, where are you?" if I am not within eyesight. She loves to snuggle with me and often wants to just sit on my lap. If we go out, she may walk ahead of me but she always checks back to see where I am. When she gets hurt, I am her "go to" person. The best is when she gets up in the morning. She will open her bedroom door, peek out, see where I am, smile, and then run to me, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy!", wanting a big hug. If I have been gone, she is ecstatic when I return and will keep telling Scott, "Dada, Mommy home!". So attachment is coming!

I am keeping Ziva busy this summer. We have her in a program called CIP which is for children who have severe speech and communication delays. It's a group of 6 kids and 3 adults which is great. She goes 3 days a week for 2 hours. Between CIP and speech therapy, Ziva is getting lots of "summer school".

I apologize again for the delay...and that this entry got so long! Please continue to keep us in your prayers- our needs are great but God is greater!
Enjoy the photos!

Ziva on Easter morning...some of these cute clothes we got at her shower last year finally fit!

Ziva turned 4 on May 5th. She still needs a bit of help blowing out those candles, but she was able to sing "Happy Birthday" to herself!

It is amazing how well Ziva does with Simon now. She is so gentle with him and loves to pet him, hug him, tell him it's time to eat....and Simon? Well, he tolerates it. They have been known to fight over Mommy's lap!

A visit to Springridge Farm to pick strawberries gave Ziva the opportunity for her first pony ride. She was speechless!

For some reason, Ziva loves riding these old tractors. Maybe she'll get a ride a working
one someday!

Feeding the goats at Bowmanville Zoo...another thing that left her speechless!

You'll often see Ziva stopping to smell the flowers...and then picking a few for Mommy!

A short trip down "memory lane": This was Ziva last July...
...and here she is this July. She's definitely losing that "baby look" and looking more like a little girl.

It may be hard to tell in the photo, but Ziva tans very well. She gets so blond from the sun too.
It was funny, a few months back I went to the Dutch store and a man commented on how Ziva was a such a "little Dutch girl with her blond hair and blue eyes"! I just smiled...

Taking It One Day At a Time

February 25th, 2010

I have realized in the last few months that when it comes to things with Ziva, we just have to take it one day at a time- hence the title. We have so many challenges with Ziva and so many obstacles to overcome, that if I start to think about the future, I get overwhelmed. So we have to just take each day as it comes and try not to worry about what the unknown future holds. A few people have encouraged me to write on the blog about the challenges we are facing so that they will know how to specifically pray for us. So here goes...

Our first and foremost concern is Ziva's speech. She now knows about 10-12 words and is using them without prompting. This is progess and we are grateful for it- but she will be 4 years old in a few months and is still speaking at about a one-year-old's level. The rate of her progress is also very slow; it takes her weeks to learn a new word (and that is after lots and lots and lots of practice!). Her lack of speech negatively affects so many other areas of her life- her relationships with others (us, teachers, classmates), her cognitive progress, her emotional development, etc etc. Her speech problem compounds all the other delays. We don't even want to think about how this will affect her ability to read in a few years.

School is another huge area of concern. We have decided to put Ziva in school 5 days a week next year. We figure the more she is in school, the more she will learn about correct social behaviours. She will be going to nursery school again, not JK; if she went to JK, she wouldn't be able to handle the demands and we would be required to provide a full time EA for her (at our expense!). The main issues at school involve her running all the time, running away from her teachers/the group, and not being able to sit or attend for any length of time. This is in addition to the fact that she is developmentally delayed and cannot speak/interact with her teachers or peers. She does not know how to interact with her peers appropriately and because she doesn't talk, they do not to play with her. It is a catch-22 situation.

The "running away" is a problem whenever we go out. If she is not in cart, you have to have a hand on her at all times. It is hard to describe how emotionally exhausting that actually is. Going to other people's houses is still very overwhelming for Ziva as well. At home, we find that she can be quite calm and she hardly runs. But as soon as we are at someone else's, she is like a wild animal let out of its cage. She gets completely out of control and cannot be calmed down. Needless to say, we don't go out with her very often!

Attachment continues to be an issue. We have seen some great progress over the last few months...but then she'll reach for a complete stranger for a hug and we take a few big steps back.
Instead of being supportive and simply doing what we ask, we find that we have to "convince" people that what we are doing for attachment is the right thing.

That about sums up the "big" issues that we are dealing with and for which we need prayer. As always, pray for patience and more patience...and a miracle!

I thought I'd share with you some of Ziva's favourite things too...

Ziva is becoming very affectionate towards Scott and I and loves to give us hugs and kisses. Sometimes she will just keep hugging and kissing us, over and over again. She also loves to snuggle with me in the morning when she has just gotten up. It's about the only time that she sits still enough to snuggle!

Ziva continues to love food. It still amazes us what this kid will eat and how much of it. She will try anything...grapefruit (which she loves), hot peppers, avacado, hummus...you name it, she'll try it. One of her favourite foods is dill pickles...which she eats like a cob of corn.

Ziva loves her "babies". She almost always has one in her arms! Here, she is putting the baby up against the wall; then she will go around the corner and say, "Baby, where are you?" (She says it well enough for us to understand.). She'll come around the corner and say, "There you are!" (She cannot really say this, but we know that is what she is trying to say.) Ziva absolutely loves music. If we put music on, all she does is sit in front of the stereo, mesmerized. She sings a ton, too.

Pudding is a favourite!

Ziva loves to do the laundry. She wants to get right in the action. When I am sorting laundry, putting clothes into the dryer, or clothes from the dryer into a hamper, she'll say, "Me, me" because she wants to help. She will even carry full laundry hampers around- man, is she a strong little thing!

Her new tent is just the perfect size for the two of us to play in...puzzles, colouring, dolls, blocks, you name it! Being in the tent is great, too, because there are minimal distractions for Ziva (she is very easily distracted.)!

January 28th: One year since Gotcha Day!