Calder Adoption

A Busy Fall for All

2011-11-11T13:43:00.004-05:00

Oops, photos got put in first...
On Labour day weekend, we went on the Waterloo Central Railway and took this old train from Waterloo to St. Jacob's...and then got caught in a near-tornado! Ziva's first day of SK (September 19th).

A visit with Grandma and Poppa Anderson.

Carving a jack'o'lantern with daddy. Ziva loved scooping the guts out (a good sensory experience for our little sensory seeker!).

Thanksgiving Day, Scotsdale Farms...yes, it was warm enough for shorts and a tank top!

Halloween. Ziva as "Fifi". She was so cute!

Hello, everyone! Fall has seemed to just fly by with all its changes and adjustments for Ziva. She has settled into SK at the public school where she is assisted by a full-time EA. We had a bit of a rocky start, but it seems now they are getting to know her and how to respond to her needs. We have met with the school team and now have an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) in place so they can target her needs. Part of the challenge is that Ziva is very good at fooling people into believing that she is incapable of many things...and it is only once they get to know her do they realize what she is able to do.

Speech is still her biggest delay and oftentimes people judge her based on her speech abilities. It has been difficult for us as parents, transisting her to the public school. When she attends day care, we see her teachers before and after school every day and so we are constantly in touch with them and can find out what and how she did that day. This is an area that we are still working on with the school. We are used to living with a "non-talking"child and so we are constantly advocating for her and speaking on her behalf; we now need the school to do the same for us or else we would have no idea what she does at school.

In just the past few days Ziva has started to say "Stop it!" with great clarity (she also signs "stop" for added emphasis, which is hilarious!). It does sound a bit rude, but we are grateful that she is being so forceful. At her day care (where she has been since last March), her peers know her, like her, and are kind to her. However, we have found that when she is around kids who do not know her, one of two things happen: they "baby" her or they are mean to her. We, of course, do not like either of these things! Because of her innocence and gullibilty, kids are often very mean to her and try to get her to do inappropriate things (we have actually had adults do this to her too, if you can believe it!). Her judgement and social awareness is not at the level where she "knows better" and other kids take advantage of that. It just breaks our heart to see kids being so mean to her when she is such a loving, sensitive, and generous child. We are hoping that her "stop it!" will carry over to sitautions where kids are being mean to her!

Ziva acquired the word "why?" sometime in mid-September. Yeah! This is a milestone that we had been waiting for. She asks it ALL the time, about everything...but that is okay by me! I never tire of it because it shows development, growth, and an inquiring mind.

Ziva continues to love music and it amazes me how quickly she remembers anything put to music. We are hoping to start MusicTherapy in the new year. This is therapy (for fine motor, gross motor, etc) done to music. We think this is right up Ziva's alley!

Keep checking in!

A Summer of Appointments

2011-08-25T12:16:00.006-04:00

Hello, everyone! I can hardly believe that the summer is almost over! This blog entry is about 2 months overdue! This summer's theme was "appointments"....almost 30 in total (in a matter of 7 weeks)! We have seen so many people this summer...speech pathologists (4 of them), occupational therapists (2 of them), a physiotherapist, a geneticist, a developmental pediatrician, ophthamologists (2 of them)...then add her "regular" pediatrician, her dentist, and a week long "occupational therapy" class. We've been to Sick Kids, St. Michael's, 3 different ErinOak locations, and all places in between. To be honest, it was sometimes hard for me to keep doctors and their locations straight! I only drove to the wrong location once! Ha!ha! Attending all of these appointments were in the attempt to get some answers as to Ziva's delays and get the best help for her possible. And although we spent a lot of time going to appointments, I am also thankful that I had the summer off to be able to take her to them. I couldn't imagine having all these appointments while working! I can see why parents of special needs kids end up having one parent stay home.

We did have some fun this summer as well! We had a day trip to the zoo, went camping for 10 days, and for the first time, Ziva spent a whole weekend with her Beppe (grandma). Scott and I really enjoyed that weekend too! :)

Ziva is such a joy and delight to us. More and more of her personality seems to be surfacing all the time. She is the kind of child that does everything with gusto....and her clothes and face are usually the proof of that! For example, I drop her off at school with neat hair, a clean face, and clean clothes. By the time I pick her up, she is a total mess. (The sandbox being her favourite pastime at school...you can imagine!) We go home, she undresses at the door, and she goes straight into the tub! The way I figure it, the dirtier she is, the more fun she had!

Ziva is such a child of opposites. She gets so dirty when she plays in the sand and doesn't care, and yet when we sit down for dinner, she will go through 10 napkins (if she had her way!), wiping up tiny drips and spills. (I know this will sound sexist, but) she plays like such a boy when she is outside...she is rough and tumble, she loves cars and the sand. On the other hand, she can play with her "baby" so gently and she is so nurturing and motherly towards it, it is amazing.

Ziva continues to be a very grateful child and she truly savours new things and experiences. She takes nothing for granted. We redid her room this summer and she graduated to a "big girl bed" (photos below). Even though it's been 7 weeks, if a guest comes over, it is the first thing she will show them, she is so happy about it. Since getting her new bed, she now doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning!

Now we are busy gearing up for school! She will start SK at our local public school, where she will receive full time EA support. On her other days, she will continue to go to Maple School and be in their SK program.

Ziva and Mommy dressed as "twins" on Canada Day.
Being silly in the backyard.

Family photo.

She's our sunshine!

Toronto Zoo, July 2011.

Ziva in her new room. No more brown and blue!

Ziva had an absolute blast camping! With lots of sand and water, Ziva was in heaven. We went to Grundy Provincial Park, where they have floating docks out in the water (water is 8-10 feet deep). Ziva has no fear...she would jump off the dock, "swim" back to the ladder, jump again...for hours! People were amazed to see little Ziva do this and they used her as an example to try and cajole their kids into jumping!

Ziva had her first experience with roasted marshmellows. Talk about savouring! Just watching her enjoy the marshmellows made me cry.

You can't quite see it in this picture, but Ziva can put her entire hand in her mouth! Hmmm...either she has a big mouth or small hands!

Sticky! Sticky!

We went on a 1 1/2 hour hike with Ziva...and she ran the entire time! Maybe she'll be a cross country runner?! Scenic Grundy.

This license plate caught our eye. Read the frame around the plate. Ziva is #1! (And typical Ziva, she is refusing to look at the camera!)

Ziva turns 5!

2011-05-14T21:42:00.004-04:00

Easter egg hunt! Ziva is now 5! Her birthday was big excitement around here for weeks! We weren't sure how much Ziva would understand about it being her birthday, so about a week before, I started to tell her a few times every day that her birthday was coming soon. And without fail, every time I told her this, she'd gasp, get wide-eyed, and say, "Birthday? Me?" and then start to belt out "Happy Birthday to Ziva!" followed by a loud shout of "Happy Birthday, Ziva! Yeah!" accompanied by clapping. A couple of times when I told her birthday was coming soon, she looked under the table or in the living room, saying "Birthday, where are you?" It was pretty cute. And even though her birthday has come and gone, Ziva feels that even the presence of leftover birthday cake (all this week) still deserves a round of "Happy Birthday to Ziva".

Ziva has now been at her "new" schools for almost 2 months...and she is doing so well! We have been so amazed and thrilled at the progress she has made. Both schools have embraced Ziva and her special needs and are doing everything they can to meet her needs and help her. As parents of a special needs child, we feel so supported...and our stress level has gone way down! Ziva is a changed girl at her schools as well. Although she is always very happy to see me when I pick her up, now she doesn't want to leave school because she is having so much fun. Her teachers tell us that she is quite verbal and we think this is due to the manner in which Ziva is received. The teachers make a genuine effort to communicate with her, understand what she is saying, and are supporting our at-home speech goals. Another big change is Ziva's interaction with her peers and teachers. When she leaves at the end of the day, she says a big "good-bye" to the entire group of kids (they all chorus back "Good-bye, Ziva") and she always needs to say good-bye to each teacher individually. We know that she feels accepted and loved. One of the biggest changes has been the expectations put on Ziva. There is a fine balance between meeting her special needs and yet challenging her so that she will grow and make progress. The schools have found this balance and we attribute much of her progress to that.

In the past month, Ziva has developed a love for letters. She is getting quite good at tracing her name (goal for September is writing it independently) and can read and recognize her name. She recognizes probably about 20 letters from memory and knows the sounds of a handful of them. She is so incredibly proud of herself for knowing her letters. She is constantly pointing out letters to us - at the gas station, on the cereal box, on a can of soup, the toothpaste tube, her books, the newspaper etc etc. She will actually sit down with a novel, magazine, church bulletin, or recipe book and scan the pages for letters she knows. And when she finds one, she has to shout it out and make sure that both Scott and I see the letter. It brings me so much joy, I just about want to cry. It gives us hope for her future learning when we see her embracing this new-found knowledge. I guess listening to Fridge Phonics for 2 years and watching "Leap Frog Letter Factory" every week for about a year has paid off!

Ziva is a child of opposites. She can be absolutely the sweetest and absolutely the most difficult. We think she may be going through her "terrible twos" at 5. "No" is by far her favourite word and she will say it just to say it. (I am not kidding...sometimes I haven't even finished my sentence and she is already saying "no"!) Because her vocabulary is limited, "no" is about the only word we hear (in varying tones and volumes), but it is often accompanied by foot stomping, arm crossing, scowling, and grunting.

On the other hand, she is a very generous, thoughtful, compassionate, and sensitive child. Her teachers tell us that if a classmate of Ziva's is crying, she will right away go and comfort the child and give them a hug. They say Ziva is so aware and quick to help, she often beats them to the hurt child! Ziva continues to be a grateful child. Let's say I give her breakfast: she'll say. "Thank you, mommy, eggs. Thank you, mommy, toast. Thank you, mommy, milk." Yep...she'll thank me for each and every item! Oh, and if you offer her something and she doesn't want any, she'll say, "No, please." (we're working on "no, thank you."!) If you sneeze, she will run into the bathroom to get you a kleenex and say, "Bless you!" I had a bad cold last week and was coughing a lot and every time I coughed, she said, "Bless you, Mommy!". Too cute!

Ziva and her birthday cake (on her birthday itself). Ziva is not yet able to blow (no one is quite sure why); instead, she puckers her lips and makes the "sh" sound. She was trying very hard to blow those candles out and leaned in close to the cake...so close she burned her lip a little and signed her hair! Oops...here Scott is taking the cake away!

Ziva's birthday party with family. She is very excited by the castle cake I made for her. The look on her face was well worth the 3 hours I spent decorating it!

A cake fit for a princess.

And here's the princess eating her cake with gusto.

A new hat.

Ziva treats Simon like a sibling. Sometimes she is super sweet to him and other times, she yells at him! And for the most part, he just ignores her...

Lately, Ziva's favourite toy has been her doctor's kit. A real stethoscope for her birthday was just the thing she needed!

New experiences for Ziva

2011-03-18T10:50:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone! (Somehow this photo ended up here...and I am not computer saavy enough to move it!) This is Ziva on our 2 year anniversary of Gotcha Day, January 27th. Ziva has experienced a lot of new things in the past few months! We started gymnastics at the beginning of January which Ziva loves, of course, since it gives her lots of opportunity to run, jump, climb, and swing. Once the coaches realized that she has special needs and was delayed gross motorly, they provided her with a one-on-one EA; we were very glad for that because otherwise she would just run around and not do any of the tasks. In a few weeks, once gymnastics is over, she will go for another round of swimming lessons.

At the end of January, we started with rehabilitation services at Erin Oak; this provides services for kids who have multiple needs. Weekly, Ziva goes to see a (new) speech therapist and an occupational therapist. This week I took her to a physiotherapy assessment and we will now also consult with a physiotherapist every few months. Ziva and I also visited Sick Kids earlier this week for a "pre-MRI" check up. We have been told that Ziva is a great candidate for a weekend MRI appointment, so hopefully that will happen in a few months.

We have spent a lot of time this past month looking into schooling for Ziva- for now and next year. For SK next year, we have enrolled Ziva in our local public school where she will be provided with a one-on-one EA. We also decided to have Ziva switch schools now. Her needs just weren't being met at the school she was attending and so we made the difficult decision to pull her out. Next Monday, she will start at two new schools in their JK classes. We weren't able to find one full time placement so we have had to make do with two different centres; but that is what she will be doing next year when she is in SK, too, so she might as well get used to it! (No, we do not have full time SK in Halton yet!) We have heard nothing but good things about these two centers so we are very excited! It seems that both of these centers are well-equipped and trained to deal with special needs kids.

Ziva is making some progress in her speech. She still does not have all her sounds, though, so most words are still somewhat difficult to understand. Every day, Ziva and I work on sounds using games/flashcards provided by the speech therapist. Although she is limited in her speech, Ziva talks non-stop at home!

We continue to feel frustrated and, quite frankly, sad about other people's perception of Ziva. Ziva has her challenges and her delays... we are very well aware of that...but she is also able to learn and she is making progress! We have witnessed so many times in the past few months where people have low expectations of her and they automatically assume she can't understand or learn because of her delays. It seems that it is mostly related to her speech delay...once people realize she doesn't talk (much), they assume the worst. Although Ziva is not aware that people do this, we feel so badly for her because it is unfair judgement. It breaks my heart that people treat her this way.

I am so happy to say that Ziva is becoming quite the "mommy's girl"! When we are at home together, she doesn't let me out of her sight. For example, if she is playing upstairs and I need to go down to the basement to quickly get something, she always has to go with me. If she gets hurt (even if it is very minor), she always needs "a kiss to make it better"...but the kiss can only be from me (daddy's kisses don't even cut it!). And the number of kisses she gives me! She's my girl!

Now onto some fun photos!

Reading continues to be one of Ziva's favourite pastimes. This was the first time she picked this book off the shelf...

She will often read a book while eating. Hmmm....I wonder where she picked that up?

Snow was a huge hit with Ziva this winter! We took her tobogganing every weekend and she had a blast. She has no fear and so would go down even the hugest hills! Ziva fell in love with her snowman!

Always a helper, Ziva would help me shovel the snow.

Ziva's new look! At an appoinment with the ophthamologist at Sick Kids back in February, they discovered she needs glasses! This week was her first week with them...so far, so good!

Ziva is a puzzle hound! We bought her 24 piece puzzles at Christmas...which she "outgrew" in about a week. She is now up to 48 pieces and whizzes through them!

We took Ziva to an indoor amusement park...this was right up her alley. She loved the spinning, the heights, the speed! This was one ride I wouldn't even go on.

Ahhhh....this is more my speed!

Ziva smiles all the time...she is such a happy girl. But, as you may have noticed, she doesn't often smile for the camera. When we are going to take her picture, we'll say, "Ziva, smile!" and she will usually absolutely refuse. What a stinker! Every once in a while we are able to capture her with her big beautiful smile...

Happy 2011!

2011-01-02T19:59:00.004-05:00

Hello, everyone! Happy New Year! I pray that you had a blessed Christmas as well. We have had so much fun and excitement at our house over the last few weeks, I thought I'd share some of our joyful moments.

Ziva really got into the Christmas spirit this year. We took her to see Santa twice; the first time (mid-November), she had no idea who he was and why on earth she was sitting on his lap. After that, we "talked up" Santa a lot, read her books about him, and pointed him out to her whenever we saw him. She fell in love with Santa and everytime she saw a picture of Santa, she'd say, "Ho!Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" (She still walks around the house, knocks on doors, and says, "Trick or treat!", so we have a feeling we will be hearing "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" until Easter!). The second time Scott took her to see Santa, just a few days before Christmas, she could hardly contain her excitement.

We put out cookies and water (Ziva's suggestion) for Santa on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, the look on Ziva's face was absolutely priceless. She was simply stunned that Santa had been in our house and had eaten the cookies. She kept saying, "Santa? Eat cookies?" and looking in disbelief at the few crumbs left on the plate. It was so cute.

Ziva continues to make slow progress in her speech. The one thing that we have noticed recently is that she knows and says more words. Just out of the blue, she'll say random words like bandaid, toothpaste, needle, toothpick, crouton, etc. Bandaids and tape have actually become her new favourite things. Anytime anything is broken, she'll say, "Uh-oh, broken. Tape." Then she'll run into the office, get the tape out of the drawer, and bring it so me so I can fix said broken item. Bandaids are her cure all for any "boo-boo". She'll bump her leg, rub her eye, have a hang nail, you name it, she'll say, "Uh-oh, boo-boo. Bandaid." Thankfully the bandaids are too high up in the closet for her to reach them!

Ziva has replaced her emphatic "No!"s with "Mine!" If she even thinks you are going to touch something that is "hers", she'll say, "No! Go away! Mine!". It makes us laugh because she'll do this for everything from her clothes and toys to her snotty kleenexes!

Ziva has surprised us lately with some of the things she knows...which we didn't know she knew! One day a few weeks ago, she was singing to herself in her room and I was surprised to hear that she can sing the entire alphabet song! One day she was reading an alphabet book and when she got to the b page, she said to me, "Mommy...b." When making an alphabet puzzle, she picked up the Z and said, "Mommy...me." I think she knows her name begins with a Z! It has been exciting to see!

One thing Ziva does not like to do is work on her speech. She gets very sloppy and tries to talk fast but then you can't understand a thing. We are constantly telling her to slow down and repeat herself- which she hates. For quite a while now, Ziva has been able to pray "God is great, God is good..." before mealtimes. She knows it by heart and most words are correct...that is, if she slows down. She will start to pray by herself but she will hurry, so we will stop her and make her repeat it more slowly. She will comply easily enough, but the funniest part is that when she repeats herself, she says it in this very mad, ticked off tone of voice. It is hilarious. I hope God doesn't mind that she always prays mad!

Here we are, all decked out on Christmas eve, ready to go to church.
A short trip down memory lane...3 days ago was the 2nd year anniversary of when we met Ziva. This is what she looked like on that day...

...and here is what she looks like now! We also went to the doctor recently and Ziva officially weighs 34 lbs and is 98 cm tall (last year at this time, she was 30 lbs and 89 cm tall).

We took Ziva ice skating for the first time. I don't think she really saw the point.

We also took Ziva tobogganing for the first time...and she definitely saw the point of that!

A stunned Ziva on Christmas morning.

Having some fun with Mommy.

Checking out a new puzzle with Daddy.

Ziva loved her Santa hat!

Ziva seems to always get her hair in her food, so we thought a headband might help. Now the headband has become a source of entertainment at the dinner table for Scott and I. Ziva, of course, has no idea why we laugh at her.

Fall Fun

2010-11-05T11:32:00.005-04:00

Hello, everyone. I am hoping that you haven't given up on me and are still checking in! Here are a few tidbits on Ziva since the last entry...Ziva has settled into school again, but without those naps every other day (like last year), she is a whiny thing when we get home! I still try to do some "homework" with her every day but sometimes it is difficult!

Lately, Ziva has been getting very snuggly with me, loves to sit on my lap, and loves to be picked up. I know, she's 4 1/2 and may seem too old to be picked up and carried around...but hey, we are both just making up for lost time! When we are out together, she absolutely loves to point to me and tell people, "MY mommy!" She is getting rather possessive! I know I have mentioned how much Ziva loves music and singing. She will often sing songs to the tune of "Old McDonald" or "The Farmer in the Dell"...but the only word she keeps singing over and over is "Mommy". It's adorable.

When Ziva went to the doctor's in July, she was 92.5 cm tall; last week we measured her and she is now 96 cm! No wonder her pants are too short on her every two weeks!

Ziva is loving swimming lessons. She loves the water so much, but the entire experience is still overwhelming to her. For the first few weeks, Scott was allowed in the pool with her and he said that her heart races the entire time. Her adrenaline is in overdrive. She dunks her head under the water so often that she doesn't even listen to the instructor or do what she is supposed to be doing. But I guess that is why we are going...so eventually it will not be overwhelming to her.

Our greatest frustration as of late has been with how other people interact with Ziva (at Sunday school, swimming lessons, school, bank, etc). If they have never met Ziva, we always need to explain that she doesn't really talk because, inevitably, they'll ask her her name, how old she is, or something like that, and she will not answer. Once people find out she doesn't talk, they start to treat her like she is stupid. They seem to think that because she doesn't talk, she also doesn't understand. We have also realized that it is easy for people to take advantage of her because she doesn't talk. We are just constantly reminded of that fact that we are her voice and her advocates.

I have told people that Ziva really reactes to bug bites. And people almost always say back, "Oh, yeah...me too. " Like this? (The bite location is at the black mark.) Poor thing.

First trip to an apple orchard to pick apples.

Thanksgiving Day: a walk at Scotsdale Farm

Jack-o-lantern carving was a hoot this year. Ziva literally dug in...she loved the sensory experience!

All dressed and ready to get some candy! And no, her face isn't wet- that's the gross sparkle gel that I put on her face. She was the cutest butterfly...or angel...or fairy...

How time flies!

2010-09-30T10:40:00.005-04:00

It's hard to believe that another two months has gone by! Summer, along with all its "busyness", has been replaced by a different kind of busyness- school! CIP school ended up being a wonderful experience for Ziva and we are so glad that we had the opportunity to have in "summer school". Ziva is now going to nursery school 5 days a week (from 8 to 4). Although she is old enough for JK, developmentally, she is not ready for that yet. So another year of nursery school it is. Her teachers have been telling us that she is doing great! Because it's her second year, she is familar and confident with the routines and procedures; she is also sitting for circle time and doesn't run around anymore. Yeah! The teachers (with guidance from the many professionals we have working with Ziva) have embraced the use of visuals for Ziva which help her to communicate and focus on tasks.

There hasn't been much improvment with Ziva's speech lately and we actually feel her progress is at a bit of a standstill. Although she can say many words, she still is unable to use them spontaneously. It is also taking her a long time to learn those last 8 consonant sounds. So we just keep repeating and repeating and repeating...

Recently, she learned how to say "excuse me" (not perfectly, of course, but we know what she is saying) and she likes using it whenever she can. She always has this look of pride on her face when she burps or toots because it gives her the opportunity to say "excuse me!" It's too cute.

She continues to be a very thoughtful and generous child. Her latest thing is when you sneeze- she'll run from where ever she is in the house to the bathroom, get you a Kleenex, bring it to you, and say. "Big sneeze!".

In early September, we had an appointment at the FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder)Clinic on Toronto. Although we don't have our next appointment until March, we are glad that they decided Ziva was a candidate for the assessment. We are not sure what we will find out, if anything, but we figure it won't hurt. If we could get some answers as to her language delay, it would give us some peace.

Ziva just couldn't get enough of the pool this summer. And as you can see in the photo, she will stick her whole face in the water! She is our brave girl! This Saturday she starts swimming lessons which we know she will absolutely love.
We dug the trike out in the spring and were happy to see that she could reach the pedals this year! For the next few months, we tried and tried to teach her how to trike without any success. We thought she'd never learn...and then at the beginning of August, she finally got the hang of it! Now she's a triking fool!

We took a day trip to Wasaga Beach in August...Ziva was in her glory in the "big water", as she called it.

Hanging out on the back deck.

Ziva really enjoys table toys...pegs, puzzles, lacing, beads...but she loves her baby too!

First day of school.

Ziva's first visit to a fall fair. She went on the ferris wheel with Daddy...

and the merry-go-round with Mommy. She doesn't look very happy on either ride...I think she was too stunned to have any other expression!

All wrapped up after a bath. Perhaps a visit to a spa is in her future?

A Long Overdue Update!

2010-07-26T11:34:00.011-04:00

Well, I am finally here with an update! I apologize to those you of who kept checking in, only to find nothing new. As some of you already know, the past few months have been crazy around here. Mid-April, Scott's back "went out" and he became bedridden. Thankfully, he was able to have back surgery a month later, which was followed by another 6 weeks in bed recuperating. Suddenly everything around the house and everything with Ziva fell on me...and so things like blogging took a very back burner (whole other stove!). But now Scott is up and around, supervising his employee at job sites, and should be able to return to work soon. School is out and Ziva and I are enjoying our days together.

We have seen quite a bit of growth in our little girl over the past 5 months! Physically, she has grown a lot. Back in the spring, it seemed that a pair of pants would fit her one week and the next week they'd be too short! She now weighs a whopping 32 pounds and is 92 cm tall. The doctor tells us that she is now "on the chart": at the 10th percentile for weight and 3rd percentile for height. She is such a shorty! (The doctor also said that he predicts she'll grow to be between 5' and 5' 2" tall...hey, 5' 2" is a great height!)

We have seen some good improvment in her speech as well. It is still slow going, but progress is progress! She went to 8 weeks of speech therapy at Erin Oak (funded by the region) late winter/ early spring. Then there was a 10 week "off block" during which we pursued private speech- we just couldn't bear the thought of a 10-week hiatus in therapy when she was finally starting to make some progress! We are now in the middle of our 2nd block of therapy with Erin Oak. We use lots of visuals and have sentence strips for some basic sentences like "I want___", "I need _____", or "I see ____". Following those patterns, Ziva is able to say some 3-4 word sentences. Her vocabulary is still very limited, however, so we hear the same sentences over and over again! The biggest difference has been Ziva's desire to communicate. She now talks quite spontaneously and we do not have to prompt quite as much as before. She is also more willing to try and repeat words. And because she is now able to produce more sounds, when she does repeat a word, it is often quite close. Repitition is the key with Ziva, though. She cannot simply hear a word, repeat it, and get it right...she needs to practice words hundreds of times! So, at the dinner table, in the bath, when she gets dressed, when I play with her, in the pool....you name it...she has to say something before she gets anything! It is quite exhausting to do this all the time, but it is becoming habitual for me. Her two favourite sentences lately have been: "I want fan on." (she loves having the fan blow directly on her when she sleeps) and "I want water on back." (I throw buckets of water on her in the pool). My favourites are when she sings (with good accuracy) and signs "Jesus Loves Me" and when she prays "God is great, God is good."

Ziva's play skills are improving as well. Making choices in play is more difficult for her, but if she is given an activity, she can attend to it quite well. Puzzles have become a big favourite and she is quite good at them. She can even sit and watch a 30 minute video now! (which gives me a break!). Her absolute favourite toy is her baby. Her "new thing" with the baby is to check her diaper. Ziva will undo the sleeper, look at the baby's bum, go to the washroom and get some toilet paper, wipe the baby's bum, look at the toilet paper, wipe the bum again, and then go throw the toilet paper in the garbage. It's really cute. Ziva likes to do this so much that her baby often needs a diaper change every few minutes! Now that summer is here, the pool is all Ziva talks about. She loves the water and has no inhibitions about putting her head under, "diving" in, having water poured over her head...so if I want her to do anything fast (eat, dress, clean up), I just tell her that after she's done, she can go in the pool!

With the growth in speech, more of Ziva's personality is coming through. Before, she seemed rather emotionally "flat" and we didn't get a lot of reactions from her or changes in her emotions. We have discovered that she has a great sense of humour; she knows what is funny and knows how to be funny. Speech is also allowing her to exert more assertiveness; her new "overused" word is NO! When I ask her to do something, she will usually answer with an emphatic "No!"...but then she will proceed to do what I asked anyway!

Ziva has become quite attached to me over the past few months. She always wants to be in the same room as me and will ask, "Mommy, where are you?" if I am not within eyesight. She loves to snuggle with me and often wants to just sit on my lap. If we go out, she may walk ahead of me but she always checks back to see where I am. When she gets hurt, I am her "go to" person. The best is when she gets up in the morning. She will open her bedroom door, peek out, see where I am, smile, and then run to me, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy!", wanting a big hug. If I have been gone, she is ecstatic when I return and will keep telling Scott, "Dada, Mommy home!". So attachment is coming!

I am keeping Ziva busy this summer. We have her in a program called CIP which is for children who have severe speech and communication delays. It's a group of 6 kids and 3 adults which is great. She goes 3 days a week for 2 hours. Between CIP and speech therapy, Ziva is getting lots of "summer school".

I apologize again for the delay...and that this entry got so long! Please continue to keep us in your prayers- our needs are great but God is greater!
Enjoy the photos!

Ziva on Easter morning...some of these cute clothes we got at her shower last year finally fit!

Ziva turned 4 on May 5th. She still needs a bit of help blowing out those candles, but she was able to sing "Happy Birthday" to herself!

It is amazing how well Ziva does with Simon now. She is so gentle with him and loves to pet him, hug him, tell him it's time to eat....and Simon? Well, he tolerates it. They have been known to fight over Mommy's lap!

A visit to Springridge Farm to pick strawberries gave Ziva the opportunity for her first pony ride. She was speechless!

For some reason, Ziva loves riding these old tractors. Maybe she'll get a ride a working
one someday!

Feeding the goats at Bowmanville Zoo...another thing that left her speechless!

You'll often see Ziva stopping to smell the flowers...and then picking a few for Mommy!

A short trip down "memory lane": This was Ziva last July...
...and here she is this July. She's definitely losing that "baby look" and looking more like a little girl.

It may be hard to tell in the photo, but Ziva tans very well. She gets so blond from the sun too.
It was funny, a few months back I went to the Dutch store and a man commented on how Ziva was a such a "little Dutch girl with her blond hair and blue eyes"! I just smiled...

Taking It One Day At a Time

2010-02-13T14:30:00.004-05:00

February 25th, 2010

I have realized in the last few months that when it comes to things with Ziva, we just have to take it one day at a time- hence the title. We have so many challenges with Ziva and so many obstacles to overcome, that if I start to think about the future, I get overwhelmed. So we have to just take each day as it comes and try not to worry about what the unknown future holds. A few people have encouraged me to write on the blog about the challenges we are facing so that they will know how to specifically pray for us. So here goes...

Our first and foremost concern is Ziva's speech. She now knows about 10-12 words and is using them without prompting. This is progess and we are grateful for it- but she will be 4 years old in a few months and is still speaking at about a one-year-old's level. The rate of her progress is also very slow; it takes her weeks to learn a new word (and that is after lots and lots and lots of practice!). Her lack of speech negatively affects so many other areas of her life- her relationships with others (us, teachers, classmates), her cognitive progress, her emotional development, etc etc. Her speech problem compounds all the other delays. We don't even want to think about how this will affect her ability to read in a few years.

School is another huge area of concern. We have decided to put Ziva in school 5 days a week next year. We figure the more she is in school, the more she will learn about correct social behaviours. She will be going to nursery school again, not JK; if she went to JK, she wouldn't be able to handle the demands and we would be required to provide a full time EA for her (at our expense!). The main issues at school involve her running all the time, running away from her teachers/the group, and not being able to sit or attend for any length of time. This is in addition to the fact that she is developmentally delayed and cannot speak/interact with her teachers or peers. She does not know how to interact with her peers appropriately and because she doesn't talk, they do not to play with her. It is a catch-22 situation.

The "running away" is a problem whenever we go out. If she is not in cart, you have to have a hand on her at all times. It is hard to describe how emotionally exhausting that actually is. Going to other people's houses is still very overwhelming for Ziva as well. At home, we find that she can be quite calm and she hardly runs. But as soon as we are at someone else's, she is like a wild animal let out of its cage. She gets completely out of control and cannot be calmed down. Needless to say, we don't go out with her very often!

Attachment continues to be an issue. We have seen some great progress over the last few months...but then she'll reach for a complete stranger for a hug and we take a few big steps back.
Instead of being supportive and simply doing what we ask, we find that we have to "convince" people that what we are doing for attachment is the right thing.

That about sums up the "big" issues that we are dealing with and for which we need prayer. As always, pray for patience and more patience...and a miracle!

I thought I'd share with you some of Ziva's favourite things too...

Ziva is becoming very affectionate towards Scott and I and loves to give us hugs and kisses. Sometimes she will just keep hugging and kissing us, over and over again. She also loves to snuggle with me in the morning when she has just gotten up. It's about the only time that she sits still enough to snuggle!

Ziva continues to love food. It still amazes us what this kid will eat and how much of it. She will try anything...grapefruit (which she loves), hot peppers, avacado, hummus...you name it, she'll try it. One of her favourite foods is dill pickles...which she eats like a cob of corn.

Ziva loves her "babies". She almost always has one in her arms! Here, she is putting the baby up against the wall; then she will go around the corner and say, "Baby, where are you?" (She says it well enough for us to understand.). She'll come around the corner and say, "There you are!" (She cannot really say this, but we know that is what she is trying to say.) Ziva absolutely loves music. If we put music on, all she does is sit in front of the stereo, mesmerized. She sings a ton, too.

Pudding is a favourite!

Ziva loves to do the laundry. She wants to get right in the action. When I am sorting laundry, putting clothes into the dryer, or clothes from the dryer into a hamper, she'll say, "Me, me" because she wants to help. She will even carry full laundry hampers around- man, is she a strong little thing!

Her new tent is just the perfect size for the two of us to play in...puzzles, colouring, dolls, blocks, you name it! Being in the tent is great, too, because there are minimal distractions for Ziva (she is very easily distracted.)!

January 28th: One year since Gotcha Day!

Happy New Year...and a belated Merry Christmas!

2009-12-31T10:01:00.009-05:00

Well, another month has passed and what a month it has been! December brought about a mix of emotions for Scott and I as we remembered what we were doing (and where we were) just one year ago. We reminisced December 6th of last year, when we left for Ukraine so excited and hopeful. We remembered the heartache of repeated appointments at the SDA with no child available for us and the depression that settled in. And just yesterday marks the one year anniversary of when we first met our precious litte girl. It is sad to say, but as we reflected on our journey last year, it is not with fondness. With the exception of meeting and deciding to adopt Ziva, I cannot think of any other good memory from last December.

Christmas is just one of the things we were especially grateful for this year. Obviously, a big part of the joy is having Ziva as a part of our family and being able to share her excitement and build new family memories and traditions; but another part of the happiness was simply being home, spending time with family and friends, being able to go to church, sing Christmas carols, see Christmas lights, enjoy a turkey dinner...all the things we usually take for granted. Scott and I were so into the Christmas spirit that we watched every Christmas movie we could find on TV. We had never even watched most of them before, but felt so grateful for the opportunity!

Being able to spend the last two weeks at home with Ziva has been so amazing. (How I'd love to be an at-home mom!) I have realized how much I miss her when I am at work all day. She has been surprising us in the last few weeks in some areas and it is so great to be home to witness it. She has become quite the parrot in the last week or so, and although she is still not able to say words correctly, it seems that the desire is coming. She has learned how to intake air and so everything seems a "surprise" to her now. She'll be reading a book, for example, and after she turns every page, she'll intake air. It is really quite funny to watch. Her sense of humour seems to be developing as well; she is beginning to understand when you are teasing her and will tease you back.

We are also delighted to say that Ziva now gets out of bed! Yes, I know that for most parents, this is a dreaded thing, and it can get annoying when your child won't stay in bed. But we are thrilled. For months, we have been trying to teach Ziva that when she wakes up, she can get out of bed and come out of her room. (Even before she knew how to open doors, we encouraged her to at least knock on the door or yell for us.) But old habits die hard...in the orphanage, Ziva had learned not to make noise when she awoke or had learned that even if she did make noise, she would get ignored. And so she did the same thing here at home; when she awoke, she would simply lie in bed and rock. So we were quite surprised when about a week ago, Ziva woke up, got out of her room, ran to our room, around the bed to my side, and yelled, "Mommy!!!" That was the best wake up call! She does get a little nosy at night (especially if company is over) and gets out of bed every so often just to check things out.

She has been making some good progress in her speech as well. She knew how to say some words before (like "up" and "Mommy") but would only say them if we "forced" her to. But now she uses them all the time, perfectly. I do think her new favourite word is "Mommy". She says it all the time. She will sometimes just repeat it over and over, a little differently each time. "Mommy? Mommy!! Mommy. Mommy!?" It is very sweet and melts my heart! (By the way, she has said a close approximation of "Daddy" a few times...hopefully that'll be the next overused word!)

We have seen some improvements in the area of attachment as well. When I get her from school or the sitter's at the end of a work day, it is like Ziva simply can't get enough of me. She wants to be close to me, be picked up, hugged, kissed, and snuggled. I have been seen trying to make dinner at the kitchen counter with a Ziva attached to my leg! She is also is starting to get somewhat concerned if she doesn't know where I am. I went for a run the other day and Scott said that most of the hour, she stood by the door, looking out, and saying, "Mommy?". We went furniture shopping this past week and Scott would hold Ziva's hand and walk with her. If I went a bit ahead of them and I was no longer in her eyesight, she'd start to yell "Mommy!" over and over until she could see me again. We got some wierd looks, but I loved it!

Thanks again for checking in, and enjoy the photos of our beautiful girl!

November 28th: 10 months since Gotcha Day.

All dressed up for Christmas.

First Christmas as a family.

Christmas Day...all ready to open presents!

A few people asked us if Ziva was excited for Christmas...well, this really was her first Christmas and so she had no idea what "Christmas" is. In a lot of ways, she is like a one year old...how much does a one year old understand about Christmas? But one thing was for sure, she understood presents and dove right in!

Ziva and her new bear.

Her first taste of a candy cane.

Enjoying a big Christmas dinner. And when I say "big", I mean big. We are not sure where she puts it, but can she eat!

December 28th: 11 months since Gotcha Day. We also had a doctor appointment on this day and found out that in the last four months, Ziva gained 1 1/2 pounds and grew 4 cm! Now she is a whopping 30 lbs and 89 centimetres (35 inches) tall. (Just a note: when we met her last year on December 30th, she was 23 pounds and 81 cm tall.) But she's still a peanut!

Finally...an update!

2009-11-07T08:39:00.008-05:00

Hi, everyone. I know, I know, this is about 2 months overdue. I thank those of you who "nagged" me via email for an update- I do appreciate it because then I know that this blog is still being followed and is worth it! We have been very busy the past few months. In September, we worked very hard to finish our basement (which we are renovating) so we could move all the stuff back downstairs (which had been upstairs for 6 months!) and get our upstairs back in order. Mid-October I went back to work full time and well, I think that explains the delay in this entry!

So I guess I will go back to August...at the end of August, we had an appointment with Ziva's pediatrician, at which time we found out that she had actually grown! Yeah! Since her previous visit, she had gained a pound and grew 2 cm. I know she's growing just because her clothes aren't fitting anymore!

On September 4th we went to Sick Kids for a follow-up appointment regarding Ziva's congenital syphilis. We were very happy to find out that her spinal fluid came back normal and there has been no neurological damage from the syphilis. Praise God!

Ziva started going to nursery school in September. She goes 2 days a week from 8-4. The first few weeks were pretty rough- for both Ziva and her teachers. Ziva was simply overwhelmed by it all and didn't know how to behave properly. We are pleased to hear that she has settled down quite a bit and is learning routines. Once a week, a Resource Consultant comes to the school for an hour and a half to work with Ziva. She has just finished assessing Ziva and soon we will be able to meet with her, learn about Ziva's strengths and challenges, and then set goals for her. The Resource Consultant is an advocate for Ziva and her needs and so she has been very helpful. As some of you may know, the nursery school that Ziva attends is in my school. Now that I am back at work, this is very handy. To help with attachment, I go down to her room once a day and spend a few minutes with her and give her lots of hugs and kisses! When we bring her to school, we always have her stop by "mommy's room", and we think that she is beginning to understand that I am in the same building as her.

About a month ago, Ziva broke her finger at school. She had gotten into this bad habit of hiding behind doors. Well, she hid behind the door, the teacher didn't see her, and she closed the door right on Ziva's pinkie. Thank goodness I was at school (my first week back) and so we quickly took her to emergency. She needed stitches and they tried to make a popsicle splint to hold the finger in place (which Ziva promptly pulled out the next day so I had to back to emerg to get it rebandaged). Her finger is so small, they finally gave up on trying to splint it and just bandaged it so much her finger looked like a club. The stitches were taken out last week and everything looks fine, the doctor says. Now we are just waiting for the finger nail to fall off. Yuck. And let's just say that Ziva doesn't hide behind doors anymore...

In the past few weeks, Ziva has started to do what we call a "happy dance" when we pick her up at the end of the day or when I visit her at school. She puts her arms in the air and does this half jump/half dance thing. And she yells. It is so funny and sweet...and she only does it when she sees US after we have been apart for a while. We think this is a beginning sign of attachment and are very happy about that.

Ziva's speech is slowly improving. She can now say a few words: mommy, apple, baby, bye bye, pee pee, poo poo (yes, those last two are important ones!), and amen. She says a few others that are close. For example, she says milk but it comes out "mih", please is "peez" and I love you is "ah luh ew" (that's the best one!). We had an appointment with Erin Oak (the wait list we had been on since February) which will provide us with free speech therapy. Because they are so bogged down, we will have to wait until February to start therapy sessions, but at least the wait is over!

Ziva loves to pray. Sometimes we ask her if she would like to pray. She will bow her head, babble for about 15 seconds, and then say a loud "amen". It is precious. She continues to love singing and can now "sing" about 5 different songs (she carries a tune but babbles for the words). It shows us she has a good memory. She has also started to count- everything! Her shoes, crayons, books, her fingers, the number of pieces of apple in her bowl, waffle bites on her plate- you name it, she counts it. And although the only number she can say is one, she points to items one at a time and says a word.

Scott and I continue to be "educators" as we encounter people who are ignorant and say awful things- either about adoptive parenting or Ziva's delays. Many people think that because Ziva doesn't talk she is stupid or invisible. We have learned to become thick skinned and, needless to say, we are very defensive when it comes to Ziva. (Momma Bear instinct kicking in!)

Here's Ziva on August 28th (7 months since Gotcha Day).

First day of school.

Our funny girl!

Ziva in her new bed.

September 28th (8 months since Gotcha Day).

Hanging out in her new play area in the basement.

Ziva wasn't quite sure what to make of the pumpkin patch. But hey, if there is mud, she is happy.

Ziva's broken finger....a.ka. "the club"

Halloween: Ziva the cow.

October 28th (9 months since Gotcha Day).

A few hurdles behind us...

2009-08-21T11:38:00.006-04:00

Hello, everyone, and thanks for checking in. When I sit down to write these monthly entries, I want to express what has gone on in the month and how we are feeling about things and it seems I always start with the same words...overwhelming, busy, discouraging, stressful, etc. And yes, "overwhelmed" would be the word for the month again. We are glad to see a few things behind us, though.

At the end of July, Ziva went in to Sick Kids to get a lumbar puncture and PICC line. Both occurred without a hitch and Ziva proved to be a real trooper. She was sedated at 3:00 in the afternoon, and by 9:00 that night, she was chowing down on lasagna and bread. We wondered how she could have such a big appetite after being sedated...but Ziva loves her food! The following 14 days were quite intense for all of us. Ziva's pump and bag of penicillin were contained in a small backpack that she wore 24/7. A nurse came daily to change the bag, the dressing, the tubing, etc. For the first 10 days, as soon as the nurse showed up at the door, Ziva would start to scream. She would continue to cry hysterically until the nurse left (usually 30-45 minutes later) and it took two of us to hold her down. Besides the visits with the nurse, Ziva was great with the PICC line. She wanted to be as active as normal so we had to constantly tell her to slow down, stop jumping, etc etc. Ziva had to be monitored 24/7 while she had the PICC line just in case she accidentally caught it on something or pulled it out. Let's just say that we didn't sleep very well those 2 weeks!

As far as the congenital syphilis is concerned, the penicillin has cured her of it. Her bone x-rays came back normal and the ophthomologist's appointment showed no damage to her retina (both are areas where syphilis could cause damage). We are scheduled to go back to Sick Kids on September 4th, at which time we will get the results of the lumbar puncture. The spinal fluid will tell us whether or not neurological damage has occurred. Please pray for good news.

In the last month, Ziva and I have continued to attend a signing class. Ziva has known a number of signs for quite a while but in the past few weeks, it seems that she has figured out that signing can be used as a way to communicate. This is encouraging, especially since we are still trying to get her fully potty trained for school (two weeks away!).

Camping for 4 days was the highlight of the month for Ziva (if she could talk, I think that's what she would say). Because she loves water so much, Ziva was in heaven at the lake. She just couldn't get enough of the water, the waves, the splashing, and the size of the lake. (Her pool at home just doesn't seem to cut it anymore!) Ziva doesn't have any sort of internal safety regulation (coupled with the fact that she doesn't "stick" by us), and so Scott and I had to watch her every moment at camp and the beach. Ziva can't handle no boundaries and no walls; if we didn't watch her constantly, she'd be gone in a matter of minutes. Let's just say that Scott and I relished the 2 hours she napped every day!

Things are coming along with the Occupational Therapist. We continue to meet with her weekly and Ziva is now working on skills that are between 2 years and 2 years 6 months. Considering she started at the level of an 18 month old just 3 months ago, we are quite pleased. We have decided to stop going to speech therapy for the time being; Ziva has not made any progress anyway and we figure that therapy will be most helpful when she actually starts to talk.

We continue to be bothered by her indiscriminate friendliness towards everyone. And as of late, we have started some new attachment strategies. We have also realized that to parent a child like Ziva (from an orphanage), you need to have thick skin. So many times this past month when Ziva was in a tramatic situation, Scott or I would be holding her, consoling her, comforting her, kissing her, hugging her...you name it....and then she'd reach out for the stranger (ie. nurse) for comfort. She will just as readily want comfort or a hug and kiss from a stranger than from us. It is difficult for us to see her having no preference for us. She also has started to wave a lot- at everyone and anybody (even if we are stopped at a red light, she will wave to the person in the car stopped next to us). She waves and smiles as a way to be charming and get attention. She will also fake getting hurt (like she used to do with us back in Kiev) to get comfort from others. We know that she does all of these behaviours because she is not attached to us yet and she is only doing what she learned in the big O (that is what we are "affectionately" calling the orphanage these days). It really saddens us to think about it- that she is still conditioned to being so needy for attention.

I often use the word "overwhelmed" when I decribe how I am feeling or what our life is like. I guess that is mainly due to the fact that everything with Ziva is "work". Some of it is fun "work", but there always seems to be something that we should be working on...whether it be speech, occupational therapy, attachment techniques, etc. And what we are learning is that "traditional" parenting doesn't work for a child like Ziva. And then add in the fact that she isn't talking and it seems the tasks are doubly difficult. I do not say this to complain; I guess I am just saying this because I hear from people all the time, "Oh, my child does the exact same thing" or "My child used to do that too, it's normal" or "I know how you feel, my child does that too". And actually, unless you have adopted a toddler internationally, no, you don't know how it feels. Okay, that's enough of my ranting for today (don't get me started...)

Oh, you might be interested to know that Ziva can actually say "uh-oh" now- not exactly, but very close! Progress!

I'll keep you posted as to September 4th results.

And finally, thanks for continuing to follow this blog. I have said it before, but I will ask again: please continue to keep us in your prayers. We need them. Thanks.

Here's Ziva at 6 months since Gotcha Day (July 27th)....and yes, she is wearing long sleeves. With the PICC line, it was "out of sight, out of mind" and so long sleeves were a must.

Ziva does not care for our monthly "photo sessions". She hates sitting still for more than about 2 seconds (I am NOT kidding) and does not like being told to smile. This is how most of the pictures end up looking...she's got her pout down pat, don't you think? (Notice her backpack; that was what she wore for 14 days while she had her PICC line. It carried a pump and her bag of penicillin.)

The one thing Ziva does have an attention span for is books; often I will find her in her room, sitting on her glider, legs crossed, engrossed in a book. She is her mother's daughter!

This is just to remind you how Ziva looked when we first met her (7 months ago)...

...and how she looks now. Although she hasn't grown in height or weight, her looks have changed quite a bit. Here she is sporting her new earrings. After x-rays, a spinal tap, an IV, a PICC line, dilated eyes, and a number of blood withdrawals all within a matter of a few weeks, ear piercing was a piece of cake!

Playing hide'n'seek with Daddy at camp.

Ziva was the epitome of "not a happy camper". Mosquitos loved her and she had about 15 bites on her face alone. By the second day, one eye was swollen shut because of a bite on her eyelid. We learned that she is a scratcher and a scab-picker. Hmm...she takes after her mother there too!

Ziva was not bothered by her bites at the beach! I have never seen a kid so crazy over water...and no fear! Simply amazing since she had never even seen a bathtub until 6 months go!

Relaxing at camp, reading a few books.

Ziva and Mommy.

A Discouraging Update

2009-07-08T09:06:00.005-04:00

I apologize for the delay of this entry...We have had a very busy, overwhelming, and discouraging two months. We have learned many new things about our little Ziva over the past 8 weeks and, sad to say, none of them are encouraging.

In May, we had a screening done at a place called Community Living North Halton. This screening was done to determine if Ziva would be eligible for services provided by the government. Ziva was assessed in 5 areas, and not surprisingly, she qualifies for help in all areas. In order to receive these services, she needs to be enrolled in a day care or nursery school, so we have signed her up for nursery school 2 days a week beginnging in September. (On a side note, she needs to be potty trained by then, so the pressure is on!)

Ziva is now seeing an Occupational Therapist once a week. The OT's assessment put Ziva developmentally at the level of an 18 month old. It seems that Ziva also has sensory processing issues. Because of the lack of stimulation she received in the orphanage, her ability to take in and process what she senses is "messed up", for lack of a better term.

The fact that Ziva was not held, rocked, cuddled, hugged, tickled, etc as a baby has also had a profound affect on her. As a result of not receiving outside stimulus, she has learned to self-stimulate. So we are now "feeding the need" to be stimulated and are providing Ziva with appropriate activities.

Ziva also has a "constant need to move" (OT's polite term)-which for those of you who have met Ziva, is an understatement. Her need to move is "overriding" her other needs right now, which in turn is preventing her from having any sort of attention span, which in turn prevents her from learning new skills. With the OT's help, we have learned techniques to use when we play with Ziva that balance the physical movement she needs with the skills she needs to learn.

Ziva's speech delay continues to be our foremost concern. She has been working with a Speech Therapist once a week for the past 8 weeks as well, and so far, the progress has been very slow and the prognosis not good. Ziva is able to make a few new sounds (b,p,h) and a couple of vowel sounds. But, unless prompted by a toy or a treat, she does not use these sounds; instead she just reverts back to "mu". She is unable to put two sounds together and is not able to mimic any words/sounds. The speech therapist believes she has something called "apraxia of speech". This is a neurologically based motor planning speech disorder. There is a breakdown in the transmission of messages from the brain to the muscles in the mouth that facilitate speech. A "roadblock" is obstructing the signal from the brain to the mouth. What this means, practically speaking, is that Ziva is unable to move her mouth in such a way as to make sounds; she will have to be taught (by physical manipulation) how to move her mouth to form sounds.

The speech therapist has referred us to the Speech Foundation in Toronto where they specialize in speech apraxia. For now, Ziva will continue to work with the speech therapist, but what she really needs is intense therapy with specialists. There is a 12 month waiting list (I am getting so tired of waiting lists!!) for the Speech Foundation. So I guess we are destined to hear "mu" for many more months to come (ugh!!).

As you can imagine, finding out that Ziva has a severe speech delay was difficult and devastating news for us to receive. This is not something that will be easily "fixed" and will require much therapy. In the meantime, I am taking an 8 week signing course which will hopefully foster some communication from Ziva.

The final blow for the month was finding out that Ziva tested positive for the syphilis antibody. This means that she either has or has had congenital syphilis. Syphilis, in fact, is a very treatable disease- it just requires a course of penicillin. However, despite it's relatively easy treatment, syphilis is a terrible disease. One of the affects of congenital syphilis is neurological damage. Now, if you are like us, we are putting 2 and 2 together. Ziva has a severe speech delay that is neurologically based; then we are told that she has/has had syphilis which causes neurological damage and developmental delays. We are very concerned that the syphilis has caused irreversable neurological damage.

Ziva will go to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto on July 21st. Under sedation, she will first receive a lumbar puncture (aka spinal tap) which will help to determine if there is neurological involvement. She will then get a pickline (IV) in order for her to receive her penicillin treatment. She will be able to come home, but for 14 days she will have the pickline (attached to a pump which she can wear in a backpack). So we will see how that goes!

Last week's paediatrician appointment answered a few more questions for us. In the 6 months that we have known Ziva, she has not grown at all. She eats like a horse and so we have become quite concerned about her not growing. The doctor told us that he thinks that her not growing is a "symptom" of the syphilis; her body is using all its' energy to fight off the syphilis and so it has none "left over" for growing. (And even though he didn't come right out and say it, that comment implies that he thinks she presently has syphilis.) He told us that Ziva is not a healthy child (which we have concluded by now as well) and once she gets healthy, she should start growing.

We covet your prayers as we continue to grapple with the fact that our "healthy child" is not so healthy after all. It has been a very difficult few months, having to learn about, grasp, and accept the fact that we are now parents of a special needs child. As with biological parents, all we wanted was a healthy child; and we are now working through the disappointment and grief of unknowlingly adopting a special needs child. Don't get me wrong, we love Ziva...but these challenges were not what we expected or wanted.

Because of the many challenges and delays that Ziva has, parenting her often feels like a constant "therapy session". Everything we do with her needs to have a "purpose" or some educational objective. We do this for Ziva's sake, of course, but let me tell you, it is exhausting! She is still not able to play by herself at all, and so she needs constant attention and engagement in order to play. If you are a parent, you know that you get much joy and delight when your child learns something new or says a new word for the first time; with very little progress and no speech yet, those moments are few and far between for us and it is discouraging. We continue to lift these concerns to God in prayer and hope for the day when Ziva begins to talk.

We have also had to deal with the fact that the deceit and dishonesty involved in this adoption continues to follow us and haunt us. We were told so many lies throughout the process- from our agency, to the facilitators, to the orphanage workers- and it seems the lies just keep coming. I would advise anyone contemplating adopting from Ukraine to be prepared for the worst.

Well, that just about sums up what we have been up to (and maybe now you see why there was a delay in this entry!). I'll keep you posted re: Ziva's treatment and progress. Thanks again for checking in!

Ziva is so good with our cat, Simon, now. She's come a long way from being scratched the second day home!

Ziva in her trampoline (she loves to jump!).

Ziva loved dandelions in spring.

May 27th: 4 months since Gotcha Day

June 27th: 5 months since Gotcha Day

Ziva is three!

2009-05-07T15:05:00.008-04:00

It is hard to believe that another month has come and gone! As usual, it was full of new experiences for us all...

The beginning of April brought Ziva's first Easter egg hunt. We only had to point out one egg to her and she knew what to look for. She was so funny "egg hunting"; when she found an egg, she would point to it and "tell" us she found it. She wouldn't actually put it in her basket until we gave her "permission".

We celebrated Ziva's baptism and her 3rd birthday with family and friends on the 3rd. And just as we predicted (we know our daughter!), after the minister put water on her head three times, she said, "More!". She loves water and she loves more of anything!

Although Ziva turned 3, her birthday was more like that of a first birthday since she had never celebrated her birthday before. The singing, the candles, the gifts- all new to her. She didn't quite know what to make of it all! On her birthday (the 5th), Scott and I sang to her again and put candles on her cupcake again...and we could tell that she remembered from 2 days prior.

We are simply amazed at how much English Ziva knows. There really doesn't seem to be much that she doesn't understand! Almost daily we see evidence of her growing vocabulary. And although her only word is still "more", we are seeing growth in her communicating abilities. She is making many more sounds than before and "talks" almost non-stop.

Ziva absolutely loves songs! I will ask her if she wants to sing and then I will take "requests" from her. She knows the actions for 6-7 songs and she will make her requests known by doing the first action to the song. One of her favourite songs is "Skinnamarink-ee-dink" and last week she started to do the actions for "I love you". It is the absolute sweetest! She will do these actions throughout the day, many times. And the best part is, she says a sound for each word!

In the last month, we have found Ziva to be much more snuggly. She asks to be picked up a lot and enjoys being held. I got myself a baby sling and she loves going in it. She has also started to snuggle with her stuffed animals. She has a whole basket full of them which she has ignored until recently. Now, she will hug them or want one in her arms when we are reading bedtime stories. We put a teddy in her crib at night too, and she doesn't throw him out anymore! Three months ago, Ziva didn't want to be held or snuggled with at all (she always struggled to get down), so we are very happy with this change in her.

Ziva continues to be the biggest copy cat, which can prove to be quite comical. And whatever we do, she also wants to do. So this means that when I put on make up, she wants make up on (chapstick isn't make up, right?). When Scott puts on his deodorant, she points to her underarm and asks for some. When I sit on the step to put my shoes on, she just has to sit next to me and put on a shoe (mine); she will even try to tie it! We are learning that she has a very good memory!

We still experience most of our challenges when we are out of the home. Ziva continues to find "group situations", like a shower or a party, to be overwhelming. She literally runs non-stop and gets "wired". Once home, it is difficult to settle her down and get her to sleep.

Ziva continues to be very "grabby" when we are in stores. I am "safe" if I stick to the centre of the aisle...but if she can't reach anything on the shelves, she'll grab the nearest person! I have gotten a few odd looks...

At home, Ziva is still struggling with how to "play" and attend to a task. If I am busy doing something, she simply sits or lays and does nothing. She has no idea how to play independently. When we play with her, we limit the toys to one and we have to constantly try and keep her attention. We are in the process of trying to set her up with an occupational therapist who will be able to address some of these needs.

Wow! This has become a long blog entry! Thanks for reading...and now, enjoy the photos!

Ziva's first Easter. Dressed all pretty in her dress from Ukraine.

Ziva's favourite place to sit in the kitchen...on our compost bucket, with an arm on the garbage can. It is the perfect size for her!

Ziva cracks herself up!

April 27th; 3 month anniversary of Gotcha Day. And although the doctor's official measurements say she hasn't grown at all in three months, we do think she looks older!

Ziva loves to put on mommy's running shoes!

Ziva's baptism.

Ziva's baptism day.

Enjoying a birthday cupcake.

With all that running around, a fall was inevitable...she is just the right height to catch the corner of a table. So much for going to the photographer this week for her 3rd birthday photos!

Another cupcake with candles on her birthday.

That cupcake was great too! Ziva loves her sweets!

Two months home!

2009-04-03T06:35:00.004-04:00

It has been 2 months since we returned home with Ziva and it is amazing how quickly the time has passed! We can tell that Ziva is getting more comfortable with us and her new home. Like most children, she craves routine and consistency; if we don't do something "just the same as before", it bothers her and she is quick to point it out to us (sounds like some of my grade one students!). Her sleeping has gotten so much better; she now falls to sleep within a few minutes with very little crying and sleeps most nights straight through. Her eating has take a huge turnaround as well; she eats and eats and eats...it's incredible how much she can pack away! Maybe a growth spurt on the way?

Her language is still a huge concern for us. When she wants to, she can say a perfect "more", but that is still her only word. Our speech therapist gave us tips on how to encourage Ziva to communicate. For example, when playing with her, do not give her a toy if she just points and guestures for it; she has to verbalize something (anything) before you give it to her. The challenging thing we are finding with Ziva is that if she is "forced" to communicate in order to play, then she would just rather not play! So following the speech therapist's tips have been mildly successful.

We are also finding it hard to curb her indiscriminate friendliness towards everyone. Because of her developmental level and her lack of communicating, we are finding it difficult to teach her who a stranger is (people who get handshakes only) and who are the people she can give hugs and kisses. We know that this lesson will take a few years...

Going for our weekly swim has become one of Ziva's favourite things. She absolutely loves the water! And although she would prefer that I do not hang on to her (she wants to be in control), it is teaching her that she needs to be dependent on me.

We are still easing Ziva slowly into new situations. We have done a slow transition into church nursery, and last week (as we watched Fireproof) she was apart from us for the first time in 8 weeks! I think it was harder on me than it was on her! My family threw us a beautiful shower last week, and we finally made a visit to my school, where Ziva met the 24 students I "left behind" last December.

In the past few weeks, Ziva has become a big "hugger". She has always been quite free with her kisses, but now she loves to hug too. When she says good night to me, she will give me the biggest hug, it is just the sweetest! And just a few days ago, while I was doing up some buttons on her sweater and she standing in front of me, she spontaneously gave me a bear hug. And then another and another...

This past month, I have been able to connect with some other moms who have adopted toddlers and were faced with some of the same challenges that we are (as far as developmental delays, language delays, attachment, etc). Their advice and encouragement has been so helpful.

We would continue to covet your prayers for Ziva and her progess and development. Until next month...enjoy the photos!

Ziva on March 27, 2 months from Gotcha Day. Twenty-five pounds (she gained one in the last month!) and 83.5 cm tall (she grew 1/2 cm). Oh, and you'll notice that her hair is finally long enough for me to try a few "hair styles"!
Playing with her new stroller at the shower.

Ziva loves to "help" unpack all the groceries. When she saw this box of macaroni and cheese, she started to shout and jump up and down...I think she was trying to tell me something!

Choosing what book to read.

Ziva had her first visit to the park! The swings are her favourite.

New sunglasses!

Ziva, the Canadian

2009-03-10T14:52:00.005-04:00

Yes, it is official- Ziva is now a Canadian citizen! We are very excited...mostly because this now means that we can obtain a health card for her and we don't have to pay for doctor's visits and tests "out-of-pocket" anymore! We still find it appalling that the Ontario government can be so discriminatory towards adopted children.

We have spent much of the past few weeks going to doctors and other various appointments, as well as making many phone calls trying to get assistance for Ziva. We finally found a doctor who specializes in post-adoption check ups; he is not able to be Ziva's pediatrician, but at least he was able to see her and order bloodwork and tests. (The hunt for a pediatrician is still on...) We have also joined the ranks with many other parents who are on waiting lists for services for their child. Ziva desperately needs help with her speech and development, and yet we have to wait 5-10 months before we can receive any help. Not feeling we can just sit around and wait, we have decided to pursue private speech therapy. We are praying and hoping to hear Ziva's first word soon!

Amongst the appointments, Ziva continues to take everything in stride. New things still overwhelm her; when we go somewhere new, she spends the first while just staring with her jaw dropped. We took her swimming for the first time! After the initial shock wore off, she thoroughly enjoyed herself. Swimming with Ziva is great for us too, because it helps to foster attachment- we have never had Ziva cling so tight to us as when we were in the pool! Another exciting "first" was meeting all her aunts, uncles, and cousins. She was a bit awestruck (and scared!) of her 4 boy cousins (3 the same age as her) who were much bigger, louder, and rougher than her!

Please continue to keep Ziva in your prayers. She is significantly behind in development and speech acquisition; almost daily we discover more things that she has not been taught or isn't able to do. It has become quite clear to us that Ziva received very little stimulation or instruction of any kind in the orphanage. So...we have a big task ahead of us and we pray God's blessing on Ziva as she adjusts and develops.

For family and friends who are still following this blog, you may be wondering if I will keep the blog going. (I know, I haven't been very consistent since arriving home...) I do plan to keep blogging, but only about once a month around the anniversary of "gotcha day" (January 27th). So stay tuned for updates and new photos monthly!

One month anniversary of "Gotcha Day"; 24 lbs, 84 cm tall. Not much change yet-she still looks like the same pudgy baby to us!

Helping mommy in the kitchen.

Hanging out with a few cousins.

Playing at her grandparents' house.

Settling in

2009-02-22T21:43:00.003-05:00

Hello, everyone! It is amazing how "soon" becomes two weeks for me these days! We have had our share of experiences in the last few weeks...

All things considered, we think Ziva is settling well into her new home and family. Although we think she may still be adjusting to the quietness of this house, she is happy and enjoys "exploring" her new surroundings. And by "exploring" I mean "testing the limits on what she can and cannot do"! We are amazed with how much English she is already understanding; we will say something and next thing you know, she is following our instruction! We are having to rely on pointing and guesturing less and less.

We have had our good nights and our bad nights as far as her sleeping goes. Overall, though, she sleeps from 8:30 to 8:30 and takes about an hour nap in the afternoon. (I am quite pleased with her sleeping schedule, since my ability to do anything revolves around it!)

Her eating habits have changed even in the short time that we have been home. I have tried a variety of things for breakfast, but oatmeal wins, hands down. At supper, she has become a bit of a finicky eater (typical toddler!). It is as though she only has so much room in her stomach for the "main course"...but oddly enough, she will find room for yogurt, cookies, applesauce...so her meals often become a smorgasbord! We have also discovered that she has a sweet tooth- there is always room for more pie, ice cream, chocolate pudding...

Ziva has experienced many new things these past weeks. There was a doctor's appointment (just a meet and greet, the "real" appointment is today), meeting her Pake and Beppe (grandparents) for the first time, a haircut at the hairdressers, eating a dill pickle (yep, I will try everything), getting a ride in the jogger stroller, brushing her teeth, shoveling the driveway, going to the mall (where we always seemed to bump into someone we knew!)...just to name a few!

The photos show you a few more...

Ziva receiving her first Valentine's day cards.

Her first ice cream cone! (starting her young...) And yes, that is a scratch on her face from our cat. Another lesson she learned rather quickly!

Making a cell phone call.

Ziva still loves taking a bath- and it's even better with toys and bubbles!

First experience with chocolate pudding- I just had to let her touch it!

Ziva in need of a haircut...

Her first haircut...went pretty well until the woman next to her started to get her hair blow dried and Ziva did not like the noise (no, I do not use a blow dryer). The rest of the squirmy cut took place in my arms.

Ahhh, much better! Now we can see those beautiful eyes again!

First time playing in the backyard...with a fresh snowfall.

Posing for a home "photo shoot".

Home sweet home

2009-02-08T22:38:00.002-05:00

We are home! Sorry for the delay...but we have a very energetic 2-year old in the house who is busy discovering her new home and testing us at every turn! We are all (even Simon, our cat)learning to adjust...

Our flight home was excellent. We left our apartment at 3:00 a.m. and arrived in Toronto at 12:30 p.m., which was 7:30 p.m. Kiev-time- which meant that we had been travelling for 16 1/2 hours! And despite the fact that Ziva only slept for 1 1/2 hours on the plane, she was in pretty good spirits. She was good as gold on the plane, she is such a trooper. Within five minutes of arriving on the first plane, she figured out how to undo the seat buckle and then she got her finger caught...but that was the only time she cried the entire trip!

Once we were off the plane in Pearson, we think the stress of the trip finally got to her. She screamed when she saw her Uncle Kevin and Uncle Darryl (sorry, guys!). When we arrived home, she also did her fair share of crying. She was just so overwhelmed and overstimulated by everything and all the changes. She was quite excited to meet our cat, Simon. She kept saying, "meouw, meouw, meouw" over and over again and laughing and crying at the same time. We know this is the first time she has ever seen an animal up close and personal.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of activities. Two months worth of mail and bills to open...Scott lining up work...unpacking our huge suitcases...groceries to fill our empty fridge (yes, we had to do take-out our first night and we had to have oatmeal for breakfast)...buying necessary items for Ziva (strollers for me and clothes for her...could you believe we took her out on Friday wearing her pj's? We only had 3 outfits for her and they were in the laundry!)...and most importantly, running around after Ziva, helping her learn what she can touch and not touch. (Thank goodness for baby gates!) So far she has learned that she shouldn't touch the cat because if she does, she will get hissed at. We are not sure who is more stressed out-her or Simon (Simon has been the "baby" for 12 years and so far, he is not impressed...).

Tomorrow will be our first "regular" day as a family. Scott is off to work and I will have my first day of "parental leave". We will see how we both do, being as sleep deprived as we are (no, Ziva is not sleeping well either (hence, why we are sleep deprived), and we have a contest going to see who has the biggest bags under the eyes...).

Thank you again to all of you who have faithfully kept us in your prayers. One journey has ended and yet another one has just begun! Please continue to pray for us as we bond together as a family; please pray for Ziva as she adjusts to this new life, new family, new home. I will try and post some more photos soon.

Ziva's visa (try saying that 5 times fast!)

2009-02-04T13:11:00.002-05:00

We are coming home!

Everything went so smoothly today in regards to getting Ziva's visa. The driver left with the passport by 9:00 a.m., arrived in Kiev by 1:00 p.m., and we were at the Canadian Embassy by 2:00 p.m. After filling out the proper forms, we were told that we could return at 4:30 to pick up the visa. It was as simple as that!

I cannot find the words to accurately express how excited we are to be coming home. We have been gone just short of 9 weeks. It seems like such a long time ago that we left home with the anticipation of adopting our child. We have seen much, experienced much, survived much, and WAITED so very much! We left home as two but, praise God, we are returning as three.

We have a very early flight tomorrow. We are getting picked up at 3:00 a.m.! So if you try to call us on Thursday, chances are we will be sleeping...

Keep posted for "home news" soon.

A quick update on our plans

2009-02-03T17:49:00.002-05:00

This may be my last blog entry until I am back on Canadian soil! (By the way, stay tuned for some blogs after our return home...more info to come...)

Today we found out that Ziva's passport is a day behind schedule. (They are still blaming us for the fact that she has two middle names...) So, to speed things along, we have hired a driver to deliver our passport to Kiev; he should be arriving in Kiev between 1:00 and 2:00 tomorrow afternoon. We have a 2:00 appointment at the Canadian Embassy where Ziva's visa will be issued. Usually, you need to go to the Embassy before noon in order to get a visa the same day...but a few phone calls were made and we have been told that we will have Ziva's visa by the end of the day. That means that we can still fly out Thursday morning (at 5:30 a.m.!).

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray that the driver will arrive safely in Kiev on time. Pray that everything is fine with Ziva's passport, especially because of the name "issue". And also pray for our appointment at the Canadian Embassy, that things will go smoothly and we will have a visa by the end of tomorrow. Pray also for our flight...if Ziva behaves like she did in the car, we will be very happy!

Thank you, as always, for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. We hope to see you soon!

Passing the time in Kiev

2009-02-02T15:36:00.005-05:00

I have a funny feeling that I have used that title for a previous blog...because here we are again, waiting in Kiev. I must say that this time around, things are much different because of the recent addition of a 2 1/2 year old in our life!

We have gotten into a routine the past few days to help pass the time. We go out every day for a walk just to get out of the apartment...to the mall, the supermarket, or just around the block. Other than that, we are trying to keep the same schedule Ziva had at the orphanage as far as eating and sleeping is concerned.

Ziva is happy and in good spirits. We are amazed at how well she has adjusted to the huge change that has occurred in her life. She is such a joy to us and we are so enjoying getting to know her. We laugh a lot!

Ziva has been eating everything we have given her; this has been a pleasant surprise for us because we know she did not get a lot of variety in her food at the orphanage. When we eat salad for dinner, she gets a "salad" too- a little plate with cucumbers, feta cheese, and black olives- and she loves it!

Naptime and bedtime have been our biggest challenge so far; she doesn't get to sleep too easily. Ziva is used to a crib (there is no crib here) and we think that the "freedom" of being able to get up and out of bed is just too exciting (and tempting) for her. We have a crib waiting for her at home and we are hoping that will help...

We have had to (again) get creative with our play with Ziva. We have our few toys we brought from home, but they have gotten "old" very quick. Scott vacuums every day just so that Ziva can have a ride on it (sometimes the vacuum isn't even on!). We use water and milk bottles and cereal boxes as toys, and sometimes hats. And since Ziva loves the bath so much, we give her a bath two times a day. I can say with confidence that we have washed the awful "orphanage smell" off her!

In the last few days, Ziva has started to do the funniest and cutest thing. Because she is from an orphanage, she is a very tough and independent child. When we would play with her in the playroom, she would often fall very hard, but rarely would she cry. She would simply get up and keep running. We have been doting on her for weeks and whenever she did have a tumble, we would make a big deal of it, comfort her, and "kiss it better." Well, she ate all that attention up and she is loving it! Now, even if she has the slightest fall, she will "fake" cry, rub the spot where she got "hurt", and come to us for comfort and a kiss. That is not even the funniest part. After she has bumped herself and received the comfort and kiss, she will go back to the place where she got bumped and, on purpose, she will ever so lightly bump herself again just so she can "fake" cry and come to us for comfort and a kiss. She will sometimes do this 10 times in a row! It is so hard not to laugh when she does this. To watch her brush her head against the wall or the chair and then come for comfort over and over again is so sweet. We, of course, are thrilled that she wants to receive comfort from us...even if it is staged. We think she may have a future in acting...

We are awaiting news from our facilitator regarding Ziva's passport; please continue to pray that it arrives here in Kiev Tuesday night. We have rebooked our flights for Thursday morning and are really hoping that we will be on them!

Enjoy the photos of our girl!

Ziva and her baby blues. Did she get those from her mommy?

Going for our daily walk through the streets of Kiev...Ziva with her coat that is too big and wearing Mommy's scarf (we haven't found one for her yet!).

Look at Ziva's legs in this photo. She is a big copycat. When Scott was going to take the photo, I crouched down to get to Ziva's level... and what did she do? Copy me and crouch down too!

Ziva, fresh out of the bath, sporting her new "going home" outfit.

The washing machine intrigued Ziva. She even helped load it!

Ziva loves to read....anywhere!

Playing in the kitchen cupboard...it was Mommy's turn to go in next!

Water bottle sword fight with Daddy. (Also, notice the bib...it has replaced the sippy cup...she loves her bib and would be content to wear it all day!)

Riding the vacuum cleaner at Kiev's Wonderland.

This is a Honey Nut Cheerios-loving family...the crown is the proof.

Ziva decided she would like to read my book...and look, she is almost finished it!

The "rest of the story"...

2009-01-30T02:39:00.002-05:00

For some reason, only part of the blog I wrote last night was published, so here's the rest of the story...

Scott and I are especially enjoying not being told anymore how to treat Ziva. I don't think I will ever understand the Ukrainian's way of caring for children. They obsess about keeping a child warm (even forcing us to bundle Ziva up in full winter gear when it was 5C outside and we were only going in the car!) and yet they think seatbelts are not necessary.

So where does this leave us? Well, we have been told that if all goes as planned, the passport should arrive in Kiev next Tuesday. We could go to the Canadian Embassy on Wednesday to get Ziva's visa, and we could be leaving here next Thursday!! Please continue to keep us in your prayers; please pray that the passport (and any other paperwork) gets processed on time and that there are no problems. We have re-booked our tickets for Thursday and are praying and hoping that we will indeed be able to leave that day.

Gotcha Day...and a few more

2009-01-29T15:19:00.003-05:00

Tuesday, our "Gotcha Day", was a very hectic, stressful, but exciting day. We were in the car by 6:00 a.m., heading for Gadaych, Ziva's birthplace. We arrived in Gadaych at 9:30 a.m. and made our way to the "wedding palace", where all certificates are issued (marriage, birth, death...). We waited while Ziva's new birth certificate was made...which was a bit of an ordeal because she has two middle names and it doesn't fit into the Ukrainian's forms. But with a smaller font, they finally got it to fit into the allotated space. Next stop was the police station to change her name on some "court tax" form.

We then headed back to Kremenchuk and made a quick stop at the orphanage. After meeting with the orphanage director and starting some more paperwork, we picked up Ziva for her second car ride. We first went to the bank where we had to close an account that had money in it that Ziva's birth mother had received from the government when she gave birth to Ziva. (This money goes to the orphanage.) Then we were off to the police station, where the paperwork and photos were done for Ziva's passport. We stopped quickly at our apartment for our party supplies and then we were off to the orphanage for a good-bye party.

After a party that consisted of lots of spilled juice and cookies that ended up on the floor (what can you expect when your party guests are 2-3 years old?), we took Ziva home! (Well, if you call our apartment "home"!). She spent some time just running around the apartment, exploring, and when we figured she had enough of that, we gave her her first bath ever! We were afraid that she might be afraid, but were pleasantly surprised that she loved it! She splashed around in the water and even took the shower head and put it over her head! (She has got even braver since the first bath...she now puts her face right into the water, head first! I think we need to sign her up for mom'n'tots swimming when we get home...).

We spent 9 hours in the car on Wednesday...yes, 9 hours... and Ziva was good as gold! When we took Ziva out on Monday to get passport photos and on Tuesday when we ran errands, she cried in the car. She was so scared..her bottom lip and chin trembled and she cried. It was sad to see a child so scared of a car ride. When we travelled on Wednesday, she didn't cry at all! This may be due in part to the fact that she was somewhat used to the car, but we think a lot of it had to do with the fact that she had a seatbelt on. You have to understand that Ukrainians do not wear seatbelts and it is not the law to wear one. Before we left Wednesday, we insisted that our driver dig out the "buried" seatbelt for us; we know that both the driver and our facilitator thought we were odd for making Ziva wear a seatbelt. Ziva was so good in the car, and both the driver and the facilitator commented on how well she behaved; they said that usually the children cry and make a fuss the whole time.

The city of Paltava was our first and only stop. We had to go to another "wedding palace" and police station in order to process the passport more quickly. We finally arrived in Kiev at 3:30 p.m. and we are back in the apartment we had when we arrived here on December 7th (0h, that seems like ages ago...).

We are so incredible happy to finally "have" Ziva! All things considered, she is doing very well. We thought she might make "strange" with us, especially when getting up in the morning, but so far she has been very happy and excited. I guess the month of visits to the orphanage has a big part to do with the fact that she is comfortable with us. Today Ziva went on her first trip to the grocery store, where she just sat in the cart, looking around at everything.

Our next few days...

2009-01-25T14:02:00.002-05:00

The next few days will be very busy for us, so we thought we'd let you know what we will be up to....

Tomorrow is officially our 10th day, so the ball can start rolling! Our driver, Meesha, will be picking up our court papers. We will be also taking Ziva out of the orphanage (her first car ride!) to get her passport photos taken.

Tuesday is the "big day". We plan to leave at 5:00 a.m. for Gadaych, Ziva's birthplace, where we will get a new birth certificate issued. We will then return to Kremenchuk and complete the paperwork needed for Ziva's passport. If all goes well, we will be able to go to the orphanage by late afternoon, have a going-away party for Ziva...and then take her home with us!

We have been told that Wednesday will be "the busiest day of our life"- our first day as full-time mommy and daddy! We will leave Kremenchuk in the morning and head back to Kiev, where we will wait for Ziva's passport.

Words cannot express how excited we are for Tuesday night! It's like the excitement for the coming of Christmas or looking forward to going on a big trip or the excitement of getting married...but WAY more exciting! If I was Ziva, I would stomp my feet, scrunch up my shoulders, shake my fists in the air, and scream with excitement!! And who knows, I may end up doing that Tuesday night!

As we are about to enter these exciting days, we would covet your prayers. Pray that things do indeed go smoothly in Ziva's birthplace. Pray that the necessary paperwork gets done on Tuesday so that we can take Ziva out of the orphanage. Foremost in our minds is the passport; we have been told that it could take up to 10 days. We have also been told that that there may be a delay in the passport because of Ziva's name. (We have learned that Ukrainians have only a first name and a last name and so they aren't really sure what to do on their documents with a first name, 2 middle names, and a last name!) Please pray that we receive our passport sooner rather than later. We so want to go home!

We will let you know how things went in a few days.

Experiencing some firsts...

2009-01-23T13:18:00.004-05:00

It's been a few days...and only a few more to go until we take Ziva from the orphanage! We continue to enjoy our daily visits with Ziva, although we must admit, we are getting quite bored of the playroom! To that end, we have been going outside in the morning for almost an hour; the weather has been milder (between 2 and 4C) and Ziva is quite content riding in the stroller, taking in her surroundings.

We have really noticed this week how much English Ziva is understanding (more than she lets on...). One day, she was being a monkey and misbehaving and Scott told her, "Sit down!". She immediately sat down...and I am not sure who was more surprised, her or us! We were so excited that she knew what Scott was saying! And Ziva had a look on her face that said, "Oh-oh, I let these people know I understand them!" Of course, the next time Scott asked her to sit, she ignored him! But now we know she knows...

Ziva can also meouw like a cat (that will be important for when we get home and she meets Simon), roar like a bear, and moo like a cow. She knows where her hair, eyes, and nose are. She also knows things like chair, ball, grapes, juice, boots, shoes, coat, etc. Since she is not talking yet, we find it hard to know how much she is understanding...but we think it's a lot more than we give her credit for!

In the last week or so, when we have gone to visit her, she has been wearing very small and very ugly clothes (too ugly to take pictures in), so we have been changing her into our clothes for our visits. Yesterday, as I was changing her and she only had her diaper on, she "escaped". She became very excited about the fact that she had no clothes on...it was so funny! She slapped her belly, pumped her arms in the air, yelled, and ran around the playroom for 10 minutes nonstop. Ahhh...freedom!

As I have mentioned before, the children in the orphanage do not wear diapers but Ziva wears one during our visit just in case she has an accident. We always have an extra diaper with us just in case she dirties her diaper while she is with us...and we knew it was just going to be a matter of time. Well, today was the day. Ziva is always running and always moving, and so we knew something was up when she was standing still, with this funny look on her face, touching her bottom. She did not like having a full diaper! (Which we think is a good thing because it may make potty-training easier!) And I know, changing her diaper may not seem monumental, but it was another opportunity for us to take care of one of her needs, which will help us to grow closer to her.

Enjoy the photos!

Ziva during her 10-minute "naked" run.

We did finally convince her to at least put on her new underclothes.

Ziva and Mommy

Ziva and Daddy.

Ziva and Mommy rolling the ball back and forth to each other.

Remember I told you how much she loves her sippy cup? Here she is pushing the stroller, which requires two hands...so what does she do with the cup? Holds it in her mouth with her teeth!

We have had to get creative in the playroom, so Scott made a "fort" for Ziva. She is laughing so hard and scrunching up shoulders because Scott just peeked around the corner- she is easily amused! (Notice the sippy cup??)

Photos of a winter wonderland...and some more

2009-01-18T14:26:00.004-05:00

This is the main entrance to the orphanage.

This is Ziva's room from the outside.

A playground under a blanket of snow.

Ziva running towards Mommy!

Ziva was quite intrigued by the snow on the branches.

Ziva and Daddy

Back in the playroom...

Mmmm...that yogurt was yummy!

Just wanted you to see how MOST of the pictures we take of Ziva look! She'll pose and smile, but doesn't like the flash and so she closes her eyes and squints. Good luck to the photographer who has to take her passport photo next week! What have we done...

Spending time with Ziva

2009-01-18T13:37:00.002-05:00

Hello, everyone! So we are just spending time with Ziva, waiting out our 10-day waiting period! All this waiting is very difficult. January 26th officially marks the end of the wait, but we will probably take her out of the orphanage on the 27th; we have so much paperwork to do after the 10 days are up...and towing Ziva around in the car for hours and hours and going to appointments with her would not be very good- for any of us! (Remember, she has never been out of the orphanage and has never been in a car!)

Today we heard Ziva cry for the first time. Actually, it was more of a whimper, although she had every reason to cry hard (most children from orphanages are "conditioned" not to have "full-out cries"). She was nicely sitting in her chair, drinking from her sippy cup. I opened my "bag of tricks" and told Ziva that I was getting out the books. You would not believe how excited she gets when I get the books out! She quickly got out of the chair, threw down her sippy cup, proceeded to then trip over it, and fell, head first, into the metal table leg! Although we did not enjoy seeing her get hurt, it did give us the opportunity to comfort her and "kiss it better".

We have noticed a slight change in her caregivers since Friday. They no longer ask if we are taking her outside, they don't dress her to go outside for us anymore, and today, I actually put on her diaper! Ziva needs to understand that we are the ones in charge of her care and needs, so these are good things. We have also been told that, if we like, we can put our own clothes on Ziva now. We are afraid that if we do that, the clothes will get "lost" with the rest of the communal clothing. So we will wait.

Scott and I are continuing to "deal" with Ziva's high spiritedness and her determination. We know that most orphanage children are independent and very tough- it is a matter of survival for them. There is the tendency to play rough, hit, be destructive, and be defiant. We started to realize that, hey, in a little over a week, she will be with us. It had to start sometime... so we are beginning to set boundaries and we are saying, "No!" more often. And yes, she does understand "no"!! Today, after we said, "No!", she put her arm up against her head to cover her face, put her head against the wall, and pouted! It was hard not to laugh; but, we are glad to see that she is responding to our discipline...even just a little.

That is all the news for now. I will try and post a few more photos from today as well...

Now we are three!

2009-01-16T14:32:00.002-05:00

Ziva is officially ours! We had our court appointment today at 3:00, which took about an hour. Scott and I were so nervous, although we didn't really have any need to be. We were asked quite a few standard questions about our age, address, occupations, education, why we chose Ukraine, income, etc.- all things that were already explained in our home study and our documents. Poor Scott, he was asked at least twice as many questions as I was! Then they threw in a few "strange" questions for us and we wondered if they did that just to see if we would reacte. They asked Scott how many square metres our house is and he automatically answered in square feet; he then had to backtrack, do the math, and give the correct answer. This may not seem like a big deal, but when in a Ukrainian court where everyone is very serious and you are very nervous, it is easy to get flustered! They asked me if I had ever been a prisoner! I was also asked, "If Scott and I were ever to have a biological child, would we bring Ziva back to the orphanage?" And the best one was, while pointing at Scott, "Are you married to that guy?" Too funny. The judge spent quite a bit of time reading some approvals and statements, during which I looked outside at the falling snow and daydreamed. Hey, even the judge sounded bored as he read it and the people who understood Ukrainian looked like they were going to fall asleep! After all the statements were read and the questions were asked, there was a 2 minute recess. The judge returned, read another 2 page document, and next thing we knew, he and the other "court people" were shaking our hands and congratulating us! It was somewhat anti-climactic; I guess that is to be expected when you don't understand the language!

So now we begin our 10 day waiting period. January 26th marks the day that we can take Ziva out of the orphanage, but we may have to wait until the 27th because of some paperwork that needs to be done first. We will keep you posted.

We have noticed a change in Ziva this week when we go and pick her up from her room. Before, she would take the time to tell her caregivers that we had arrived and go and get ready. Now when she sees us, she gets very excited- she starts to stomp her feet, shake her arms, and scream! (Which starts the other kids to screaming, which is not appreciated by the caregivers!) She runs as fast as she can over to us, pushing other kids out of the way (who are always crowded around our legs), and just falls into our arms. She then needs to go back and get ready; we can often see her getting dressed and she does the foot stomping, arm shaking, and screaming the entire time. It is the sweetest.

Thanks again to all of you who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers. Today was indeed an answer to prayer! God is faithful!

Some more photos

2009-01-14T14:47:00.006-05:00

Some more photos for your enjoyment...

Ziva loves Honey Nut Cheerios!

Today it was 4C! I think today was the first day that I was able to go outside without my hood on! Notice that we now have a nice, new stroller for Ziva...it's amazing what you can get with a little complaining...

Ziva absolutely loves grapes. She always needs one in

each hand and will eat them until they are gone.

Ziva cracks herself up!

Ziva loves to play a game with us where she stands

right behind us and we ask, "Where's Ziva?" She

sneaks out in front of us and we make a big deal of

"finding" her, saying, "Oh, there's Ziva!" She will

play this over and over again and she thinks it is

so funny. Here she is playing the game with Scott.

A girl after my own heart...reading.

Ziva was so proud of the stethoscope that she

"borrowed" from the doctor.

A hello from Kremenchuk

2009-01-13T14:08:00.002-05:00

Hello, everyone. A few more days have passed and we are just enjoying our time with Ziva... and waiting and waiting. This trip has been a true test of patience!

Our doctor's appointment on Sunday went very well. The doctor was warm and friendly and we all liked her immediately. She gave Ziva a "once over" physically and also did a developmental assessment with her. Because of the language barrier, it is difficult for us to know how much Ziva understands and what she is able to do, so having the doctor perform the assessment was invaluable to us. She filled in some of the gaps and answered a lot of our questions. Dr. Anna could tell right away that Ziva is full of spunk and vinegar and always "looking" for something to get into (that she should not)- and she said how great that was to see in a child from an orphanage. She said that most children from an orphanage are more timid and afraid to try new things or to be curious (they have been told "no" too often). As Dr. Anna said, "Those kinds of people make the worst kids, but they make the best adults. Who wants a mushy watermelon for a child?" Ziva's determination is a good thing!! Oh, and just as we had already suspected, Ziva has bronchitis. So we are pumping her full of fluids from her new sippy cup (which she carries around under her arm like a football, by the way, because she doesn't want to put it down!). One more funny thing Dr. Anna said: when we told her how long we have been in Ukraine, she asked, "So you are applying for Ukrainian citizenship, then?" Ha! Ha! At least she could appreciate how long we have been here.

Today was an absolutely beautiful day here in Kremenchuk- the nicest day yet. It was sunny, no wind, and the temperature was just above 0C. We were excited to take Ziva out on such a nice day...only to be told by her caregivers that we were not allowed! When we questioned why, we were simply told, "Doctor". We do not always understand their decisions for Ziva's care. Ziva has had a cold/bronchitis since we got here 2 weeks ago and we have never been denied going outside before. When we pick Ziva up, they always insist that she put an extra sweater (she sweats so much as it is because she is always running!) and one day, they even wanted us to put a toque on her...and this was for indoors! Maybe they think all the extra clothes will make her bronchitis go away... Anyway, we suspect that the orphanage doctor is on a power trip because we brought in a private doctor on Sunday. Hopefully we will be able to go outside tomorrow...

That is all the news for now. I will try and post some more photos tomorrow.

Introducing Ziva!

2009-01-11T14:21:00.008-05:00

Here's our girl! I know, there are a lot of photos, but it has been a while in coming so I figured I'd make it worth our while!

Good news

2009-01-11T01:57:00.002-05:00

We have had an eventful few days. On Friday, our facilitator, Natasha, returned to Kremenchuk to do all the necessary paperwork to get us a court date. And we have a court date for next Friday! Although that seems like a long wait to us (everything seems like a long wait at this point), we know that we are fortunate to have received a court date so quickly.

I also now have internet in the apartment- yeah! After the landlady finally admitted that she had lied to us and that she had no intention of getting us internet, our facilitator came to our rescue. We are set up with wireless internet (it is just too bad someone didn't tell us about this 5 weeks ago...)

On Friday we only had one visit with Ziva because of all the business we had to attend to. We went outside for our usual walk, but as we came around the building, two women from Ziva's room came outside and started yelling at us! They came out with a blanket which made us think they were concerned that Ziva was cold, but then they just folded it up and put it under her. Maybe they were upset because we were using such a crummy stroller. Who knows...but from now on, we will be sure to ask permission before taking Ziva outside. Getting yelled at in Ukrainian by "Olga" is not something we would like to repeat!

Yesterday we did a bit of shopping for Ziva. She will leave the orphanage with nothing, so that means we need to get her a coat and boots as well as clothes for the week we spend in Kiev. We have 3 children's clothing stores within walking distance so that is not too bad. It is slim pickings on winter gear, though, just as it would be at home at this time of year. We also have an interesting outdoor market just down the street where you can buy just about anything. We found some boots and shoes for Ziva at this market for a very good price.

When we returned to the orphanage yesterday afternoon, Ziva was quite pleased with her new shoes. She kept touching them and stomping her feet- we think she knew that they were just for her (whereas in the orphanage, all clothing and footwear is communal). We also bought her a sippy cup and it was so cute to watch her "discover" what a sippy cup is (she has never seen one before). She loves to drink from it!

We can tell that Ziva is getting used to the routine of our visits. When we come to her door, she runs over to one of the women in her room, gets their attention, "talks" to them, and points in our direction. It is like she is telling them, "My mommy and daddy are here- get me ready!" She then runs over to the room where they get her ready and bangs on the door. After she is ready (they put a diaper on her, a fresh change of clothes, and they comb her hair!), she runs across the room into our open arms, laughing and smiling the whole way. It just melts our hearts!

Once in the playroom, Ziva plays with her favourite toys and gets into her favourite things she is not supposed to get into (the playroom doubles as an office and storage so there are lots of things she is not supposed to touch). We spend our time acting silly, singing songs, doing actions, and looking quite ridiculous. A lot of the time, Ziva just looks at us like she is saying, "Who are these wierd people?" When I do ring-around-the-rosie with her, she willingly hangs onto my hands and goes around and around, but she refuses to fall down. I don't think she sees the point! She also spends quite a bit of time reading the books we brought and she always enjoys a snack. It is quite funny, actually, when we give her a new food. We brought grapes earlier this week and at first, all she would do was lick it and make a funny face. But after I ate one and "showed" her how yummy it was, she ate it too. Then she ate them until they were gone! Two days later, I brought grapes again and it was as though she had forgotten what they were (she soon remembered). We have been told that she is a good eater who eats everything.

Today we have a doctor's appointment for Ziva at noon. An English-speaking doctor is coming from Kiev. The medical information that we received was vague and quite sparse and so we would like to get a "second opinion", so to speak. We are excited that this doctor speaks English, so nothing will get lost in translation. Actually, having anyone around who speaks English is a real treat!

I will try and post some pictures later today. I actually tried 3 times last night (and spent 2 hours...) but with no success. You know me and computers- it's a true love-hate relationship. Taking pictures of Ziva is another whole experience. She is so quick and is on the move so much, by the time we snap the picture, we often just have an arm or the back of her head! At first, the camera was a new thing to her and so she quite willingly let us take her photo. Now, she anticipates the flash and she almost always scrunches up her face and closes her eyes! Thank goodness for digital cameras!

So, until later...

The holidays are finally over

2009-01-08T06:43:00.002-05:00

The holidays are finally over here in Ukraine (yeah!) so that means that the ball can now start rolling as far as the adoption process goes. We have been here so long (going on 5 weeks!) and are getting very tired of waiting. Tomorrow, our facilitator, Natasha, will return to Kremenchuk and we will spend the day doing paperwork. She told us that we will find out tomorrow when our court date is. Please pray that we will get a court date very soon (perhaps in a few days). After court, we still have to wait another 10 days before we can take Ziva.

We continue to enjoy the time spent with Ziva, although we can't wait for when we can take her home...we look forward to the day when we can start to be parents to her, rather than merely adult playmates. Today it is a "balmy" -4C, so we were able to go outside with her and go on our walk. She hasn't been herself the last few days; she has a very bad cough, seems tired, and tugs at her ears almost constantly. We are wondering if she has an ear infection and are contemplating taking her to a doctor tomorrow while our facilitator is here.

We continue to be very frustrated with the way people do business here (or not do business, as in our case). We are still waiting for internet in our apartment. I don't think the people here understand (or, more acurately, they do not care) that internet is our only link to the "outside world", the world of our family and friends. We have been lied to over and over again, and because we are "Westerners" who do not speak the language, we are taken advantage of at every turn. It frustrates us to no end that we are not able to stand up for ourselves and say something. There is so much news (and photos) we would like to share, but we cannot because we are limited to the internet cafe. We have been here almost 5 weeks and have been in 3 different apartments and have had internet for only 1 day. The lack of connection with you all is really getting to us. Please pray that something would work out soon.

Spending time with Ziva

2009-01-06T07:44:00.002-05:00

Hello, everyone! Things are going well for us here in Kremenchuk. After some persistent complaining (you know what they say about the squeaky wheel...), we are now in possession of a key to the playroom! So we can now go in there for both of our visits. With the exception of today (because it was -16C), we spend time outside with Ziva every day. We found an old, beat up stroller (it is literally falling apart) which Ziva loves to go for rides in. By the way she acts, we are not sure if she has ever ridden in a stroller before! We make our way around the orphanage 2-3 times and she just hums the whole time. She likes to play in the snow too, but it is so deep, she usually just falls face first in it! She is a trooper!

Back inside in the playroom, she is on the go constantly. She is a bundle of energy! She is always in good spirits and we can tell she really enjoys all the individual attention she is receiving. When we arrive at her door to pick her up, she looks at us for a few seconds (like she is trying to remember who we are) and then she comes running. When we are putting on our boots to leave, she starts to wave good-bye. When we leave her and say, "bye-bye" she waves and blows us kisses. It is so sweet.

We are happy to know that Ziva is being well fed; she never comes to us hungry. Our facilitator said that it would be best for us to feed her the same food she is getting now when we take her home; but we figure it is better to introduce her to the foods she is going to eat when she is with us (hey, I will not be serving mashed potatoes and red beets for dinner anytime soon!). So we have brought bananas, clementines, yogurt, cheerios, and fruit gummies. She will eat a little bit, but it is not because she is hungry- it is more that she wants to try it.

Tomorrow is Christmas Day here, so everything will be closed. We are hoping to get internet in our apartment soon after that (maybe there is another squeaky wheel...).

Happy New Year from Kremenchuk!

2009-01-03T07:42:00.002-05:00

Happy new year, everyone! Our new year has been full of much joy and laughter already! We have settled into a routine here in Kremenchuk. We visit Ziva twice a day; in the morning visit, we bundle her up and go outside for a while. And today is the third day in a row that we have actually seen the sun and there has been a blue sky! That has also raised our spirits.

Because of the holidays here and now the weekend, the playroom has actually only been open once for us. So we are confined to a small coat room, which isn't the best. It is a challenge to "entertain" her for 2 hours! We brought some toys from home, but she is more interested in "playing games" with us and emptying the lockers of their coats, snowpants, and hats. She also likes to get into the plants and bang on the door of the playroom where her friends are. Like all kids, she knows when she is misbehaving and thinks it quite funny.

Today we just let her run up and down the hall, and boy, can she run! She ran for at least an hour. She is full of spunk and energy, that's for sure. She isn't talking yet (in Ukrainian), but she is very vocal and we do lots of pointing and guesturing. Her favourite book is a photo book that I made that is full of pictures of Scott and I. She "reads" it and when she comes to a page, she'll point to the picture of Scott or I and then look up at us. She is making the connection! We have noticed that she is already responding to her new name as well. We chose Ziva, but we will keep Katarina as a middle name- her full name will be Ziva Katarina Boersma Calder. Ziva is also the biggest copycat. Whatever Scott and I do, she will immediately copy us; it is so funny. We are also discovering that she is a very determined little girl. It is truly amazing how much we have learned about her in just a few days with no language to help us!

We have only 3 1/2 hours between visits with Ziva. We use that time to run errands, since it is dark after our afternoon visit. To those of you have emailed me, I will try and get back to you, but I only have about an hour at the internet cafe and then it's time to go back to the orphanage. We are really, really hoping to get internet in the apartment so I can email more often and post pictures.

News from Kremenchuk

2008-12-31T05:20:00.003-05:00

We are very excited to bring you news about our daughter, Ziva! Yesterday was a very exciting day for us. We left Kiev at 5:00 in the morning and arrived in Kremenchuk at 10:00 a.m. We went first to the social worker for some paperwork and then went straight to the orphange. After receiving some information and history on Ziva, they brought her into the director's office for us to meet her.

Ziva is 31 months old and very petite; she is currently 24 lbs and 34 inches tall. She has light brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. We were quite surprsied with how fine (and short!) her hair is, but we were then told that at one years old, they shave off all their hair (Scott-style) so that "better" hair can grow in. Although she is petite, she has big chubby cheeks and a nice round tummy!

Right after meeting her, it was lunch time and we were fortunate enough to be able to go and help with lunch. She is in a group with 11 other children and there were 4 adults assisting the children. After a big bowl of soup, she then ate a big plate of mashed potatoes, 2 hamburger patties, and some sort of veggie (maybe squash). We were impressed that she could pack it away! We left as they were getting ready for their afternoon nap.

We are allowed to visit Ziva every day from 10-12 and 4-6. They have a special playroom for adopting parents to use when they come and visit their child, but often parents take children outside during the morning visit. I am so glad that, at the last minute before leaving Canada, I decided to buy a few clothes- everything fits her perfectly, except for the boots which are a bit big.

So we took her outside this morning for a while and we could tell that she wasn't too familiar with snow! Then it was back inside to the playroom which has all sorts of toys to play with.

We have been quite surprised with how quickly Ziva has warmed up to us and allowed to hold and hug her. She seems happy and smiles and laughs a lot; when she laughs, she scrunches up her nose and it is so cute!

We have settled into an apartment that is a 10 minute walk from the orphanage. The apartment reminds us a bit of camping- we just have to make do and rough it- but it will do. We are really hoping that we will get internet in the apartment (we put a request in) because the internet cafe is quite a distance from our apartment; with only 4 hours of daylight a day inbetween visits to Ziva, we don't really want to spend the whole time walking back and forth to the internet cafe.

Ukrainians love their holidays and so things will be closed here from today until January 8. Stores will still be open, but all government offices are closed. That means that for the next 10 days, we are at a standstill in the adoption process. This frustrates us somewhat after the 3 weeks we already spent in Kiev doing nothing, but it can't be helped. At least now we can visit Ziva every day. We have also been told that the adoption process happens quite quickly here.

Please continue to pray for our newly formed family. Pray for the new relationship that is being formed between Ziva, Scott and I. We will try and post photos of Ziva soon; from what I can tell, the computers in this cafe are not set up for it, so it may have to wait until we have internet in the apartment.

Kremenchuk Bound

2008-12-29T10:16:00.002-05:00

Today we had our appointment at the SDA and were presented with a 2 1/2 year old girl named Katarina. We will be traveling very early tomorrow morning to Kremenchuk, which is south east of Kiev, about 4 hours by car. Hopefully we will be able to meet Katarina tomorrow. Please pray that things will go smoothly and quickly as we continue with our adoption process.

Merry Christmas from Kiev

2008-12-25T10:41:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas from Kiev! Christmas isn't celebrated here until January 7th, so everything was business as usual today around here. We have no new news; we are still waiting for an appintment with the SDA (perhaps Monday). Please pray specifically that a healthy toddler will become available for us next week.

Getting settled again in Kiev

2008-12-20T16:10:00.002-05:00

Today we spent the day getting familiar with our new surroundings in Kiev. We moved to a different apartment from the one we were in last night (just 2 floors up in the same building). We couldn't see ourselves trying to cook for a week with just one small saucepan on a burner (no oven)! This apartment is much nicer and the best part- we have internet! No more internet cafe, at least for now. It is nice to be able to keep in touch with family and friends throughout the day.

We were excited to meet up with another couple from our agency this afternoon as well. It was so nice to be able to converse with some other people in English! It was also so great just to be able to share (and commiserate) about our adoption process so far.

We are staying in an apartment that is right in Independence Square, which I guess is some important and famous square in Kiev. Tonight there was some big celebration going on and the square was full of people. Some guy was giving a speech and the people were enthralled (we wondered if he was the president). I think we were the only ones walking against the flow and not stopping to listen! After his speech, they put on an excellent fireworks show.

We continue to try and keep our spirits up and pray for God's peace in our hearts as we await next week's appointment.

Disappointing news

2008-12-19T12:36:00.002-05:00

Hello, everyone. Today we come to you with disappointing news. We are not able to adopt the little boy we mentioned in the last blog entry. We traveled (12 hours by train) to the town where he lives. We had an appointment with the social worker and we were told that this boy is not able to be adopted because his 15 year old sister is not allowing it. We have been told that there is nothing that can be done.

We then got on another train (for another awful 12 hour train ride) and are now back in Kiev, in a different apartment. We will have a third appointment at the State Department of Adoption sometime near the end of next week.

Words can not express how devastated and heart broken we are by this news. This little boy was within our grasp and he has been ripped away from us. We are finding it difficult to remain hopeful and positive. By the time we have our third appointment, we will have been here almost three weeks without any progress. Please continue to pray for us as we wait and pray that God has a child for us.

Good News

2008-12-17T03:56:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we received good news! We have had an answer to prayer- the Lord is faithful and good! The orphange social worker has given us permission to go and meet the boy we were presented with on Monday. Tymurom is a 30 month old healthy boy with brown eyes and brown hair. We saw only a passport sized photo that is a year old, so we don't have too much to go on-although we both agree he looks very cute!

So today we are leaving Kiev to travel to the orphanage. We will be going on an overnight train (a sleeper cabin) to a region northwest of Kiev, about 11 hours train ride away from here. We will be going north of Lviv, which is a large city that is close to the Polish border.

We are very excited to be leaving Kiev (we have bad cabin fever!) and to be moving forward in our adoption process. We are hoping to be able to meet the boy on Thursday. We are also hoping that the sun is shining where we are going...we have not seen the sun since we arrived in Kiev!

We are so grateful for family and friends at home who are keeping us in their prayers. Thank you, too, for your words of encouragement to us- they brighten our day! Please continue to pray for us as we meet this child in the next few days. We will try and email news as soon as we can, but this will depend on how easily we can get internet access in our new place.

Two more days gone...

2008-12-12T06:28:00.002-05:00

We are back at the internet cafe, checking in with home. We have been trying to keep ourselves busy and our minds occupied to help pass the time. Even though the days are short (sun up, 8:00 a.m. and sun down, 4:00 p.m.), they seem long to us.

Yesterday we ventured out with the hopes of finding a market where we supposedly could find souvenirs and such things, but no success. (Although we did find a MacDonald's where we enjoyed a coffee and got a salad for Doreen!) We are not completely sure of our location in Kiev and the language is proving to be a real barrier. Today we will head back to the market (a daily outing) and try again to buy some groceries. Twice we have bought something we thought was milk but it was not; third time is a charm, we hope! (I am really enjoying my powdered milk from home.) Scott is keeping busy doing all the domestic chores- the cooking, the cleaning, the dishes. I am enjoying that very much. He also rigged up a way to make almost "normal"coffee- we were sick of instant coffee pretty quick!

Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we await Monday's appointment.

Passing the time in Kiev

2008-12-10T08:59:00.002-05:00

Hi, everyone. Thanks for your encouragement and prayers- we sure need them!

We are passing the time in Kiev by going out every day for a walk to the local supermarket and around town. We have also found a mall and a department store. What a challenge to buy groceries! We stand and stare at the shelves, trying to figure out what things are. I don't think we will be doing to much real cooking here, that's for sure. Today we went out for a coffee and dessert at a nice coffee shop for my birthday.

Other than that, we are reading lots, watching movies, and playing games...and praying for Monday to come quickly.

News From Kiev

2008-12-08T08:42:00.002-05:00

Today we had a disappointing appointment at the SDA (State Departament of Adoption); we were only presented with unhealthy children and one boy who was over 4 years old. So now we have to wait until next Monday, which is when we have another appointment. We are praying that next week we will be presented with a child that is healthy and within the age specifications required by Ukranian law.

Until then we are stuck in Kiev. The weather has been dreary, and today it is sleeting and snowing- not great for exploring the city. Our apartment is cozy, clean and very warm (which Doreen loves!)...albeit a bit tacky. Now we are off to the market to buy more groceries, now that we are staying the week.

Ukraine Bound

2008-12-05T10:10:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow we are Ukraine bound! Words cannot express our excitement (and nervousness!) as we begin this journey. We will write again once we are settled in Kiev and have some news.

Leaving for Ukraine

2008-11-12T07:40:00.003-05:00

We finally have an appointment with the State Department of Adoption (SDA) in Kiev! We leave on Saturday, December 6th at 6:10 p.m., to arrive in Ukraine at 1:15 in the afternoon of the 7th. Only 3 and a half weeks to go!