A few hurdles behind us...

Hello, everyone, and thanks for checking in. When I sit down to write these monthly entries, I want to express what has gone on in the month and how we are feeling about things and it seems I always start with the same words...overwhelming, busy, discouraging, stressful, etc. And yes, "overwhelmed" would be the word for the month again. We are glad to see a few things behind us, though.

At the end of July, Ziva went in to Sick Kids to get a lumbar puncture and PICC line. Both occurred without a hitch and Ziva proved to be a real trooper. She was sedated at 3:00 in the afternoon, and by 9:00 that night, she was chowing down on lasagna and bread. We wondered how she could have such a big appetite after being sedated...but Ziva loves her food! The following 14 days were quite intense for all of us. Ziva's pump and bag of penicillin were contained in a small backpack that she wore 24/7. A nurse came daily to change the bag, the dressing, the tubing, etc. For the first 10 days, as soon as the nurse showed up at the door, Ziva would start to scream. She would continue to cry hysterically until the nurse left (usually 30-45 minutes later) and it took two of us to hold her down. Besides the visits with the nurse, Ziva was great with the PICC line. She wanted to be as active as normal so we had to constantly tell her to slow down, stop jumping, etc etc. Ziva had to be monitored 24/7 while she had the PICC line just in case she accidentally caught it on something or pulled it out. Let's just say that we didn't sleep very well those 2 weeks!

As far as the congenital syphilis is concerned, the penicillin has cured her of it. Her bone x-rays came back normal and the ophthomologist's appointment showed no damage to her retina (both are areas where syphilis could cause damage). We are scheduled to go back to Sick Kids on September 4th, at which time we will get the results of the lumbar puncture. The spinal fluid will tell us whether or not neurological damage has occurred. Please pray for good news.

In the last month, Ziva and I have continued to attend a signing class. Ziva has known a number of signs for quite a while but in the past few weeks, it seems that she has figured out that signing can be used as a way to communicate. This is encouraging, especially since we are still trying to get her fully potty trained for school (two weeks away!).

Camping for 4 days was the highlight of the month for Ziva (if she could talk, I think that's what she would say). Because she loves water so much, Ziva was in heaven at the lake. She just couldn't get enough of the water, the waves, the splashing, and the size of the lake. (Her pool at home just doesn't seem to cut it anymore!) Ziva doesn't have any sort of internal safety regulation (coupled with the fact that she doesn't "stick" by us), and so Scott and I had to watch her every moment at camp and the beach. Ziva can't handle no boundaries and no walls; if we didn't watch her constantly, she'd be gone in a matter of minutes. Let's just say that Scott and I relished the 2 hours she napped every day!

Things are coming along with the Occupational Therapist. We continue to meet with her weekly and Ziva is now working on skills that are between 2 years and 2 years 6 months. Considering she started at the level of an 18 month old just 3 months ago, we are quite pleased. We have decided to stop going to speech therapy for the time being; Ziva has not made any progress anyway and we figure that therapy will be most helpful when she actually starts to talk.

We continue to be bothered by her indiscriminate friendliness towards everyone. And as of late, we have started some new attachment strategies. We have also realized that to parent a child like Ziva (from an orphanage), you need to have thick skin. So many times this past month when Ziva was in a tramatic situation, Scott or I would be holding her, consoling her, comforting her, kissing her, hugging her...you name it....and then she'd reach out for the stranger (ie. nurse) for comfort. She will just as readily want comfort or a hug and kiss from a stranger than from us. It is difficult for us to see her having no preference for us. She also has started to wave a lot- at everyone and anybody (even if we are stopped at a red light, she will wave to the person in the car stopped next to us). She waves and smiles as a way to be charming and get attention. She will also fake getting hurt (like she used to do with us back in Kiev) to get comfort from others. We know that she does all of these behaviours because she is not attached to us yet and she is only doing what she learned in the big O (that is what we are "affectionately" calling the orphanage these days). It really saddens us to think about it- that she is still conditioned to being so needy for attention.

I often use the word "overwhelmed" when I decribe how I am feeling or what our life is like. I guess that is mainly due to the fact that everything with Ziva is "work". Some of it is fun "work", but there always seems to be something that we should be working on...whether it be speech, occupational therapy, attachment techniques, etc. And what we are learning is that "traditional" parenting doesn't work for a child like Ziva. And then add in the fact that she isn't talking and it seems the tasks are doubly difficult. I do not say this to complain; I guess I am just saying this because I hear from people all the time, "Oh, my child does the exact same thing" or "My child used to do that too, it's normal" or "I know how you feel, my child does that too". And actually, unless you have adopted a toddler internationally, no, you don't know how it feels. Okay, that's enough of my ranting for today (don't get me started...)

Oh, you might be interested to know that Ziva can actually say "uh-oh" now- not exactly, but very close! Progress!

I'll keep you posted as to September 4th results.

And finally, thanks for continuing to follow this blog. I have said it before, but I will ask again: please continue to keep us in your prayers. We need them. Thanks.

Here's Ziva at 6 months since Gotcha Day (July 27th)....and yes, she is wearing long sleeves. With the PICC line, it was "out of sight, out of mind" and so long sleeves were a must.

Ziva does not care for our monthly "photo sessions". She hates sitting still for more than about 2 seconds (I am NOT kidding) and does not like being told to smile. This is how most of the pictures end up looking...she's got her pout down pat, don't you think? (Notice her backpack; that was what she wore for 14 days while she had her PICC line. It carried a pump and her bag of penicillin.)

The one thing Ziva does have an attention span for is books; often I will find her in her room, sitting on her glider, legs crossed, engrossed in a book. She is her mother's daughter!

This is just to remind you how Ziva looked when we first met her (7 months ago)...

...and how she looks now. Although she hasn't grown in height or weight, her looks have changed quite a bit. Here she is sporting her new earrings. After x-rays, a spinal tap, an IV, a PICC line, dilated eyes, and a number of blood withdrawals all within a matter of a few weeks, ear piercing was a piece of cake!

Playing hide'n'seek with Daddy at camp.

Ziva was the epitome of "not a happy camper". Mosquitos loved her and she had about 15 bites on her face alone. By the second day, one eye was swollen shut because of a bite on her eyelid. We learned that she is a scratcher and a scab-picker. Hmm...she takes after her mother there too!

Ziva was not bothered by her bites at the beach! I have never seen a kid so crazy over water...and no fear! Simply amazing since she had never even seen a bathtub until 6 months go!

Relaxing at camp, reading a few books.

Ziva and Mommy.

More than ready to go home.